How your life can be shaped and impacted by an unconscious decision

Somewhere in time, there was one decision you made (consciously or unconsciously) that shaped the trajectory of your life and may have caused you to freeze in time, not serving you any longer now. Do you know what that decision was?

Did you know that if you bring a situation, and add massive pain / trauma to it, you have the recipe for a STRONG decision that will create a ripple effect in your life?

The bigger the emotion attached to an event, the deeper and stronger the decision. And THESE are usually the decisions that impact the way we perceive and experience the world, often becoming a buried unconscious limiting belief.

I only uncovered such a strong decision when I got to 43 years old.

Let me tell you about the day I made the decision "it isn't safe for me to express myself because bad things happen".

I'm 9 years old. It's a beautiful sunny Sunday and we're heading to a local amusement park to celebrate the city's holiday. My dad drives a van from his job, my mum and my baby sister are sitting at the front, and me and my sister (8) are standing in the back of the van. (Not a lot safety measures back then!)

Me and my sister, we are very excited about going to the city centre. My parents are having their adult conversation, and we too are having our kids' talk. You would think we are talking about cartoons or school or friends... But No! We are chatting about being stitched, and how painful that must be, as my sister refers to a surgery she had when she was very little.

Well... here comes the part why I am telling you this story!

— I don't ever want to have to go to the hospital and get stitches! — I say to her.

The minute I say these words, our van crashes into another car, I fly to the front of the van and smash my mouth against a metal bar. 😱😭 Blood all over the place and I end up in hospital having my mouth stitched in several places. (sorry about the graphics)

One small detail — I am the ONLY one who gets injured! This, for sure, did help confirm the decision I am, unknowingly, about to make at the age of 9.

Unconsciously, that day, in that moment, I make the decision that when I open my mouth, bad and painful things happen. That day, I unconsciously decide that it isn't safe to express myself. You see, in my 9 year old mind, I just expressed my wishes and I got punished for that.

(Oh yeah, I was already being brainwashed about a punishing God!!!)

This decision will run the show for the following 30 plus years of my life. Can you imagine the impact this decision has had in my life? Can you imagine the decisions I made, and didn't make, based on that decision?

Can you see how important it is to know our beliefs?

What about you? What could have been a situation in your life that ended up being a decision making moment, that may be holding you back in life?

Share in the comments. I always read them and reply back.

#DecisionmakingMoments #Beliefs #GetCuriousAboutYourBeliefs #BreakthroughsAreTheJuiceOfGrowth

I Pray, I Meditate, I do Yoga and I say F*ck

I remember when I started doing yoga and meditating, sometimes he would come to me and say:

— So much yoga and meditation, and after all you're still... (fill in with a judgement).

You know, it wasn't about him. That had everything to do with ME.

I was the one who secretly and silently would go over judging myself hard. I was always on trial, and I got to be the judge and the defendant.

I was the one blaming MYSELF for doing all those things, and still feeling I was failing. You see, I knew I wasn't perfect but I thought I had to become such! I thought that all those Buddhist practices and retreats, and Tony Robbins seminars and all the MindValley’s courses would turn me into a perfect person.

The day I knew that was WAY FAR from being the purpose of this, things started to shift massively, and I signed myself up for the most AUTHENTIC and LOVING adventure I could never have imagined enrolling myself into — one of SELF-LOVE and SELF-ACCEPTANCE!

Well, it took us many tries, many falls and many knee injuries to learn to master the science of walking, right? So, why take ourselves so seriously, and be so harsh on ourselves in this adventure of being a human being? 

Yes, I pray!

Yes, I meditate!

Yes, I do yoga!

And yes, I say F*ck (boy, it felt good writing this!) and I can be (and I am!) a b*tch sometimes!

And isn't it wonderful that ... ( I got interrupted by the ego: “Hold it right there, lady!!!! Stop right there!!! Don't do it!! Don't you dare saying it!!!" )

As I was saying... and isn't it wonderful that I get to experience such a vast variety of states and emotions?!

(The ego again: “Hey b*tch, what did you just say?! WTF?? Did I just see you admit the possibility of enjoying all this human experience??!! That's it folks, she is losing it! Can someone get her a lifejacket, please?”)

  — Love you too, ego.

Back to what I was saying… Does that mean I like all of them? Does that mean I like being sad, or anxious, or angry? HELL NO!!! But can I just become curious and amazed at the fact that I am capable of experiencing so many different emotions?

Do you know what happened when I began to ask myself this question?

This curiosity has opened up space for me to start relaxing in the fight I used to engage in while resisting those “negative” emotions, and I am beginning to accept and acknowledge them more and more.

Can you imagine if you would press MUTE in the judge headquarters loudspeaker?

I wonder what that would do for you and what that could change in your life! 

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Cover Photo Credit: Inspiring Badass Kim Bao

A Small Rock & a Life Lesson on SUCCESS

That day, the Spring sun was shining and I felt like going into nature. After driving for 15 minutes, we ended up on the side of the river. People were already sunbathing, kids were playing in the water, dogs were swimming and chasing balls. And we were just stopping by, no bathing suit nor towel... only my deep desire to go and be near the water.

Gui (10) was having fun throwing small rocks into the river, and he soon decided to raise the bar. He went on a mission to take out a hand sized rock that was stuck under the earth.  After a quick look around, he grabbed a tiny nail sized rock, and started digging around the bigger one. He dug for quite some time, and the big rock was getting more and more exposed. I could tell he would be able to grab it and pull it out shortly.

So, there I was, with these thoughts in my head when I hear:

— Mum, I quit!

Life, being a great teacher, was presenting me with an opportunity to teach him something really powerful about life and the challenges it brings us.

And so I tell him:

— After spending so much time digging and putting so much effort on that challenge, are you going to quit now? Did you know that usually when we quit something, we are only 2 millimetres away from achieving our goal? Let's try something! You go back in there, and just keep digging for 2 more minutes, and let's see what happens.

Shortly after, he triumphantly raised the rock, and threw it into the river.

You see, in life it's never the lack of resources that stops you from successfully achieving your goals and making your dreams come true. RESOURCEFULNESS IS THE KEY!

Knowing his outcome, being creative to use that nail sized rock as a digging tool, being persistent, staying consistent and being resilient enough to not give up on his desired outcome — All of it, allowed him to achieve his goal.

We excitedly celebrated his success, rewarding his determination. And do you know what happened next? He dared to dream bigger! He then went for a really big rock, found himself a thick sharpened stick as a tool, and went on a new mission — and this time he didn't even consider giving up.

In life, small successes take us closer to bigger dreams.

When you feel like quitting, usually you are only 2 mm away from succeeding at whatever outcome you are going after. Get really clear on your outcome, become a really resourceful person, and keep on following those dreams of yours!

Actual photo of his mission

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