Surrender

Surrender Into Trust

I want to share with you how SURRENDER into TRUST has been playing in my life.
Only now am I able to be aware of how a decision I made 2 years ago shaped my life and that’s the reason I am ready to share it with you now.

 

Being someone who feels deeply called to serve and who has contribution as one of my top needs, I made the decision to embrace a very specific role a while ago. I am talking about my role as God’s Puppet. That’s right… God’s Puppet! After all, this life is God’s show, right? And by God, I mean Source, Consciousness, Universe, Spirit… (feel free to choose a word that works for you).  


Let me start by telling you that when I deeply felt the calling into that role for the first time, the ego in me hated it. Totally hated it! I mean, it really hated it! “What do you mean god’s puppet?”, “Who wants to be a puppet?”, “That’s such a loser role to have in life!”, “You’ll never be free as you so much desire” …

When I decided I would embrace the role of being God’s Puppet about 2 years ago and that I would really love to play with that idea, I knew nothing about what that meant. Honestly, I didn’t! I only knew it felt right! It felt so right! And so damn scary at the same time.

 

I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. What happens is that I had just come back from Date with Destiny with Tony Robbins and Faith was the value at the top of my list and I was willing to go for it.  A lot was happening in my life and many changes were taking place. And even if it was for this one time, I was willing to pay the price to honour a deeper truth in me.

 

Would I dare to trust my own intuition?
Yes, I would! And … Yes, I did!

 

At the time I wasn’t aware that I would have to get out of the way many times, if not most of the times. And by “I” I mean the ego part of me that was so damn unpleased with my decision. But again… what else was there to expect considering the ego’s resistance, right?

 

The ego wanted me to believe that role was the opposite of what I really wanted, telling me a bunch of stories of how that was a weak place to be and how that was for losers. Well, it may seem so in the beginning and I see how me surrendering into that idea actually meant the weakening of the ego.

Embodying the role of God’s Puppet isn’t a piece of cake. Not at all!!! I see how challenging it is and how it’s quite the opposite of what the ego was trying to convey to me.

So, what is this role about? What does it mean to be God’s Puppet?


Being God’s Puppet to me means showing up fully open to whatever this Higher Intelligence is trying to run through me, is trying to make happen through me. And for this to happen, more and more I need to step into the most authentic version of myself, getting rid of old stories, old beliefs and misunderstandings.

Being God’s Puppet means accepting, not resisting, relaxing, allowing. It means being ok with not knowing, being present in the now, being willing to make mistakes. It means being ok with resisting and fall off track at being God’s Puppet once you make the decision to accept that as your mission. It means being compassionate with yourself and others. It means daring to have childlike faith and curiosity again, allowing myself to be surprised.

It means practising accepting and being familiar with change.

Actually, being God’s puppet means that I am surrendering into the not knowing, that I am strengthening the belief that everything is already perfect. It means to be willing to let the stories and ideas about myself disappear.

It means I am willing to let the illusion of who I think I am die!

I become aware of the ego’s panic attacks as I surrender more and more into being fully guided, and allow myself to be in awe at the perfection and wonders of this mysterious and abundant universe we live in.


Can you imagine what a show it would be if I decided I wanted to walk and God had planning some dancing for me? That would be a very funny disastrous show to watch, don’t you think so?

And the issue is not so much about the disastrous show that we could all laugh about. After all, laughing is such a great medicine! It’s more about how much effort I would really be putting at walking, having God moving me to dance. That would be like swimming up the stream, instead of allowing the stream to take me.



Well, I believe that’s what happens with us many times when we resist whatever is that life is bringing our way. That’s what happens every time we insist on creating goals that really don’t serve us or don’t align with our truth and really limit us to walking instead of dancing.



So, where are you resisting life?

Me at Date with Destiny (Florida, US) as I was moving towards this decision.

Me at Date with Destiny (Florida, US) as I was moving towards this decision.

If you are a WOMAN and you would like to be part of an outstanding TRIBE of women from all over the world, ask to join Evolved Women Tribe . There you’ll also find a place for massive growth and evolvement, as well as honoring the Divine Feminine.

The Day I Stopped Fighting Myself

My whole life I have been in a battle with myself and thus with the whole world!


That constant fight harmed my body more than I could ever imagined or wished for. The physical pain I guess was the strategy to make me STOP and to lead me to a fucking threshold where I finally did something for me and for my life. 



My whole life I felt wrong, like I didn't belong anywhere and always resisted the fact that I was born a woman. For me being a woman meant being weak, being superficial, being too sensitive. To be honest, I was angry at the fact that I was born in a woman's body! For that reason I kept my Divine Feminine Energy trapped and caged for ever, resisting her, ignoring her, making her wrong.

Rejecting the femininity in me also brought me some deep emotional and physical health issues with my reproductive system. Yes, that's how deep I rejected myself! 



Well this post is not meant to tell you the story of my life. Instead, what I really want to share with you is the moment my Masculine and my Divine Feminine energy met.

I started being part of some women circles against my own will but following my gut and honouring my soul's desire. Let me tell you that those circles they all seemed way too weird to me. How could they not? I was the one who felt weird myself! I was totally disconnected from myself and from my core essence.



In the pictures below (first time in that circle), you can see how disconnected I was if you look closely at the red thread. We had to introduce ourselves while passing on the thread to some other woman. By the end of the exercise, either on one end or the other, the red thread was beyond loose and I was the only woman who could move her hand and arm without moving the other women along.

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Last weekend I was in another circle and for the 1st time I felt a brand new woman! I felt the woman in me was totally integrated! I felt like I belonged and there was nothing wrong with me! 

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This healing process took me about 3 years. It demanded a lot of courage from me, a lot of deep work and an unshakable commitment to be happy to matter what!

Today, looking back at many of the healing moments, I had a breakthrough and I wrote about the moment my Masculine and my Feminine energy met for the 1st time. I didn't understand this back then but I do now... I was lying on the floor, fully trusting my body to her hands. 

 
I SURRENDER

I am hurt!
I am bleeding!
I am tired!

I have been in the battle fields for way too long!

Me and my enemy
Me and my ghosts
Me and myself

What a long and painful battle it has been!

I am tired!

I stop fighting
I put down the weapons
I allow the armour to be undressed
I allow the open wounds to be exposed to the light

I am vulnerable!
I surrender!

No more running away
No more hiding
No more rejecting parts of me
No more guilt
No more shame
No more fighting myself

No more!

Tears wash my soul

I surrender!
I surrender!
I SURRENDER! 

Suddendly,
As if magic...

I taste the sweetness of tenderness
I feel the softness of loving-kindness
I am craddled by the warmth of compassion

I am finally home!

I see the face of LOVE
It is a WOMAN!
— Teresa Pimenta
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If you are a WOMAN and you would like to be part of an outstanding TRIBE of women from all over the world, ask to join Evolved Women Tribe . There you’ll also find a place for massive growth and evolvement, as well as honoring the Divine Feminine.

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