Life Tested Me Hard On This Tony Robbins Adventure

It's fucking amazing how life tested me on this Tony Robbins thing!

How bad did I want this?!

In October 2015, out of a boldness act of courage, I bought a Tony Robbins Training (CORE 100) to become a coach and a ticket to UPW and I did that in a time where I was on a sick leave from my 23-year-old job as a high school teacher. I had hit rock bottom (once again) in September 2014.

At the time I had no idea what was going to happen with my life! I knew nothing about what I was going to decide! I knew nothing about how I would make things happen. At that time, I didn’t even know what I wanted! I was still in a place where I only knew what I didn’t want. Well, that’s not quite accurate! I did know something I wanted and THAT I was really certain of, I was so sure of… I wanted to learn from Tony Robbins and to be with him in the same room.

At the time I knew nothing about being a coach and to be honest I wasn’t even thinking about that! I was just so desperate for a way out of the place I was in; I was so desperate for a way out of anger, frustration, fear and sickness that I wanted his help, so I could help myself heal and find a way out to happiness and fulfilment. There had to be another way of living and I felt so deeply within me that he could help me. Since the 1st time I heard his name around March 2015 (and after overcoming the 1st awkward experience of his voice 😉), I had been devouring all the videos I could get my eyes and hands on, religiously doing the exercises he suggested and spending all my days writing everything he was saying. So, how powerful would it be to be in the room with him?

I made a decision! No matter what, I will be in London in that room with Tony Robbins, even if it rains cats and dogs. I had made up mind! That was not open to discussion. Not being there was not an option!

After 18 months waiting for the government to call me, 18 fucking months… that’s about 547 days, 547 opportunities to receive a fucking letter from the government, guess what… I receive a letter telling me that I have to get my ass back to school on the exact same day of my flight to London, to UPW. I heard life shouting at me “how bad do you want this?”! 

Had I not made that determined unquestionable decision in the past, I would have shaken in the presence of that letter. But no! I was so hell yeah determined to be there that all I had to do was find out what my options were, knowing that not going was not an option.

And so I did! I looked for a lawyer to hear what he had to say and guess what:

- Dr., you can’t go to London! You are on a sick leave!

- Oh, I am not asking you if I can or if I can't! We’re not even going there! I will be in that venue for that event in London and that means I will be on that plane on the 6th of April! What are my options?

Once I knew my options, I knew I could buy myself some time! And that’s what I did!

I flew to London for UPW and had the most transformative life changing experience of my whole life, until that moment. (This is a story that deserves its own article. Let’s keep this one about how life tested me on this Tony Robbins thing 😉 )

So, I got home from UPW, finished the certification from the CORE 100 training, hired my own coach, started coaching other people and still on a sick leave, waiting for the government’s final call.

I could feel my soul unsettled! There was a deep craving inside of me! I so wanted to go to Date with Destiny! OMG! I desired it so badly, so deeply! Every time I would see myself there, tears would roll down my face. I was actually dreaming, for the first time since I can remember.

During my morning priming exercise, I would see myself there. I would see myself on the plane, heading there and I would see a Portuguese guy that I met at UPW with me on the plane (funny how this visualisation thing works 😉 I didn’t invite him into my visualisation, but he was there, all the time). Bear with me because this will make sense ;) 

After so many days wanting and desiring and fearing and wanting to overcome fear… I used every strategy I could think of to make myself take action. I would put myself in state; I would make my move; I would imagine the fire and me crossing it and celebrating on the other side of the lane … not working! Then I remembered one exercise I had done once while watching one of his videos and I knew what drove me and so, all I had to do was to have the guts to ask the right question that would freaking shake my ass and my whole being into taking action and fucking buying that ticket to Date with Destiny Florida 2016.

You may be wondering why all that fuss just to buy a ticket? The thing is that I was on the edge to leave my job as a school teacher and with no financial back up plan, because the only savings I had were the exact same amount of the price of the ticket! Remember? I was still buying myself some time and that meant a final call from the government would be home any time.

Guess what? That’s right! I’m doing it! I’m going to ask the question and my mind is freaking out! I play some UPW songs, “oh, you want to quit your job and you’ll be spending your own savings in a ticket to an event?”; I put my body straight, “You must be fucking crazy! You’ll have no money to eat!”; I make my move, “Please someone grab this girl and put her in a hospice!”; I say “YES, YES, YES” and I asked myself the question (sorry about that question, Tony Robbins): If this is his last DWD and he dies, are you ready to live with the regret of not having experienced it?

FUCK HELL NO! Florida here I come!

My whole body is shaking, my hands are sweating cold, my heart is racing like a wild horse, I’m breathing deeply (I am even experiencing it all as I relive it by writing this). Oh no, my credit card limit is only 1000 euros! Have you ever been in a situation where you are finding it so difficult that all you need is for it to be over really fast? Well, that wasn’t going to happen in this situation! How bad do you want this, right?! So, I get on the phone with a lady and I have to find another way to pay! I find out that I can create a digital credit card with the limit amount of, that’s right, you guessed, 4500 euros. Exactly the amount I had and the amount I needed for the ticket!

After sorting that out and paying for the ticket, suddenly there’s something familiar happening on the other side of the line – she is CELEBRATING!!!! She knows!!!! I have crossed the fire!!!! I am on the other side of the lane! I celebrate with her! And as I celebrate my mind is going berserk! I feel my body and my mind totally out of alignment… I am literally blowing up my mind… it’s as if I can see the destruction being caused up there!!!! Two totally different worlds inside the same body!!! That was so freaking awesome fucked up!!!!

So, there I am, hanging up the phone, with a tsunami and an earth quake happening inside of me. Holy shit!!!! I gotta hurry and pick my kid from school! I can barely walk because my legs don’t respond and I have to force myself to run!

I get into the car, put the keys on, turn on the gear, get ready to leave the parking space and there’s a song playing in a cd and the first words I hear are:

It's your day believe it
It's your date with destiny
It's too late to leave it
After all it's your
it's your party
Call it luck, call it faith…
(“Catch”, by Kosheen)

Right there, I let my body fall over the wheel as if I were falling on my knees and I start to cry! I look up to the sky and I shout: “I get it! I get it! Thank you! Thank you!” as tears keep washing my face in a state of gratitude and humbleness.

The next morning, I wake up with this GINORMOUS BOLDNESS HANGOVER! Have you ever had one of those? My body felt as if it had been hit by a truck and I was so confused that it felt like I had had a dream! Now, I had to tell hubby that I wouldn’t be there for his birthday and that I was actually going to be flying on that day heading Florida for a Date with Destiny!

And you know, when we are aligned with what is meant to be, the universe really provides! One week later, I had already created that money in my bank account by making my first paying clients.

Now, how bad do you want this?! You can’t make this shit up! The final letter from the government? YEP! You guessed it right! It arrived exactly on the same day of my flight to Florida, 7th Dec 2016. (of course I only found out when I arrived on the 16th).

I guess school and Tony Robbins don’t match! 😉 Yep, I quit my job! I guess I burned the fucking boats, like Tony Robbins says 😉

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By the way… remember the guy I met at UPW and that kept showing up uninvited I my visualisation? YEAH, that one! We flew on the same flight from London on the way there and on the way back 😉

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Facing Fear

I faced FEAR today!

Holy shit... My legs shook like hell... I felt my heart biting in every inch of my body... It was not death but it sure felt like it!

- BITCH, STOP THIS CAR   R I G H T   N O W! - Fear yelled.

In that moment I felt trapped. It felt way too dangerous and way too scary to keep driving up the mountain. The road was too narrow and so damn steep!!!! I could see the road disappearing under the car as I curved… OMG!!! It seemed the car was flying… all I could see was the car and the sky! Fuck!!! My car has no wings and neither do I!

At that point, the only way down to feeling great and safe again (OMG, I wanted it so badly) was to go all the way up! Literally, there was no turning back! Suddenly, the fear of keep moving forward became smaller than turning the car around and so I kept going.  

When I finally stopped the car, it felt like a huge relief! My legs were shaking and I could barely walk! I took some deep breaths in and out and walked all the way up to the top. And you know what? Fear wouldn’t shut up:

- Are you happy now? I hope this shit has been worth it! What do you expect to find here? There’s only big rocks here! And you are also afraid of rocks, remember?

As I watched my son exploring the surroundings, I fooled myself into the illusion that I was enjoying myself hiding behind the camera and taking some pictures of him. Fear wasn’t going anywhere and it wasn’t giving up either:

- HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DRIVE YOUR WAY DOWN? I can’t believe you brought us here!

Fear was hysterical and for me to be able to live that experience fully, I had to take a moment to acknowledge its presence, breathe and let it know that everything was going to be ok (at this point I am fooling myself… what else can I do? Fake it until you make it!). Yes, it seemed dangerous! Yes, it looked and felt scary... But I would drive very slowly and carefully on the way down! If others do it, I can also do it myself!

Now, there was nothing Fear could do but I… I could choose: I could freak out or I could enjoy the wonderful experience of being there. I mean, being truly and actually there and NOT pretending that I was there!

And so I made a decision - I decided I wanted to BE FULLY PRESENT!

Fear stood there, aside, arms crossed, grumbling and waiting for the moment to go down:

- This bitch, since she met that Tony Robbins guy and walked on that fire she doesn't listen to me like she used to... and with all that meditation and self-development bullshit she is into, she thinks she can dare and defy me... Well... I gotta say that we’ve been to some quite amazing places and met some extraordinary people but …bla bla bla

The SILENCE entered my body! I don’t recall ever experiencing that kind of silence! The immense space before me, all the mountains around, the different autumn colours blending together and kissing the blue of the sky, two birds flying around and playing together in a dance only they understood… The silence and I became one! And in that moment, I was FREE!

On the way down... OMG... Fear was freaking out again and making a scene!

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As I write this article and share this story with you, I found it very curious to witness my reaction to feeling trapped and scared - I wanted it to STOP! I wanted to quit, to turn back. I guess this is exactly what Tony Robbins means when he says that if you want to take the island, you gotta burn the damn boats. Having escaping doors will make you use them when standing before Fear.

I wonder how many times we all go through moments like this where we feel fearful, scared and we want to turn back and give up?!

So, if I could share something powerful and transformational with you, here are TWO things I would say:

ONE - What is your biggest fear in life? What are you most afraid of in your life?

STOP reading now and take a moment to write down what comes up for you when you ask yourself this question. I hope you have PAUSED!

TWO - What could be a fear bigger than that fear? What could it be that you could fear even more than the thing you fear the most?

What if the only way to going down and feeling great again is going all the way up?

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Set Yourself Free From Your Fences

It’s Autumn but it really doesn’t feel like it! The weather is really hot, the sun is really shining bright and it feels like a summer day! So, what better thing to do on a summer-not-so-autumn day than to head the seaside?!
 

It was exactly what I did yesterday and headed the beach with my 10-year-old.
Arriving there, as I was enjoying the view of the sea, losing myself in the space before me and soaking in the smell of the salty water, all of a sudden I notice this fence right in front of me. I hadn’t seen it before! I had not realised it was there! What could have drawn my attention to it? It was the fact that I worried of him falling! So, when fear kicked in I looked for safety, for security! And there’s nothing wrong with that (as a matter of fact, there’s nothing wrong with anything!).

The actual fence!

The actual fence!

But there was something about this fence… it looked so fragile… it really made me wonder!

How many times do we feel like we are on the edge of something extraordinarily different and exciting and fear makes us look for security and distracts our focus from what is really exciting and adventurous? You know, in the past I would have given into the fear and completely forget about the wonderful view of the sea and the sky meeting each other! (I know I still miss a lot of the adventure and beauty in the world because many times I still let myself be kept prisoner of fear, but not yesterday.)

And becoming aware of this, I wondered how many times do we feel something is about to shift in our life and we can even feel the excitement mixing up with fear and we HOLD ON to fences that are so freaking unstable?
 

How many times do we dare so little, holding on to fences which are so week that wouldn't be able to hold you if you were to lean onto them? How many times do we hold on to fences that really don't serve us anymore? Fences we keep fixing… we keep mending… out of fear!

You know, there comes a day that the fence that once kept us safe, will now keep us trapped inside! It may give us the illusion that being behind the fence is much better, but that’s just it – an illusion! 

I remember the day I received my last pay check from school with ZERO euros on it! I had quit my job as a teacher after 23 years. There was not much of a plan except to keep moving and showing up for what I am really passionate about! That day I was freaking out! My mind kept shouting at me “What the fuck are you doing with your life?” and for 12 hours in a row I played the same song over and over again (UNSTOPPABLE by Sia)… I listened to and I sang for hours and hours straight! My hands were sweating… my heart was beating too fast … OMG… I was really freaking out, but I was not going back!!!! That day I made sure I surrounded myself with an empowering group of friends (those kinds of friends that Tony Robbins creates 😉) and I remember one in particular who said “Awesome! Now you can shoot for the stars! The sky is the limit!”

That was it!!!! There was no more fence! No more hiding! No more playing small! I had removed the fence and now there were no more limits!! No more mending or fixing the fence, finding excuses to it, postponing decisions, blaming others and complaining about it… I had jumped and now all I had to do was to keep on flying and soar!

The summer-not-so-autumn Sunday...

The summer-not-so-autumn Sunday...

So, I wonder…

Is there a fence you are holding on to that doesn’t serve you anymore? Is there a fence you keep on mending and fixing?

So, I wonder…

What would it look like if you jumped? How exciting would your life be if you took the leap and started to fly? What would be possible for you without the fence? How exciting would your life be if you remembered that you are actually a free being capable of achieving every dream you dream?

Share your fences in the comments! I would love to read about them!

The Day I Stopped Fighting Myself

My whole life I have been in a battle with myself and thus with the whole world! 
That constant fight harmed my body more than I could ever imagined or wished for. The physical pain I guess was the strategy to make me STOP and to lead me to a fucking threshold where I finally did something for me and for my life. 

My whole life I felt wrong, like I didn't belong anywhere and always resisted the fact that I was born a woman. For me being a woman meant being weak, being superficial, being too sensitive. To be honest, I was angry at the fact that I was born in a woman's body! For that reason I kept my Divine Feminine Energy trapped and caged for ever, resisting her, ignoring her, making her wrong.

Rejecting the femininity in me also brought me some deep emotional and physical health issues with my reproductive system. Yes, that's how deep I rejected myself! 

Well this post is not meant to tell you the story of my life. Instead, what I really want to share with you is the moment my Masculine and my Divine Feminine energy met.

I started being part of some women circles against my own will but following my gut and honouring my soul's desire. Let me tell you that those circles they all seemed way too weird to me. How could they not? I was the one who felt weird myself! I was totally disconnected from myself and from my core essence.

In the pictures below (first time in that circle), you can see how disconnected I was if you look closely at the red thread. We had to introduce ourselves while passing on the thread to some other woman. By the end of the exercise, either on one end or the other, the red thread was beyond loose and I was the only woman who could move her hand and arm without moving the other women along.

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Last weekend I was in another circle and for the 1st time I felt a brand new woman! I felt the woman in me was totally integrated! I felt like I belonged and there was nothing wrong with me! 

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This healing process took me about 3 years. It demanded a lot of courage from me, a lot of deep work and an unshakable commitment to be happy to matter what!

Today, looking back at many of the healing moments, I had a breakthrough and I wrote about the moment my Masculine and my Feminine energy met for the 1st time. I didn't understand that back then but I do now... I was lying on the floor, fully trusting my body to her hands. 

 

I SURRENDER

I am hurt!
I am bleeding!
I am tired!

I have been in the battle fields for way too long!

Me and my enemy
Me and my ghosts
Me and myself

What a long and painful battle it has been!

I am tired!

I stop fighting
I put down the weapons
I allow the armour to be undressed
I allow the open wounds to be exposed to the light

I am vulnerable!
I surrender!

No more running away
No more hiding
No more rejecting parts of me
No more guilt
No more shame
No more fighting myself

No more!

Tears wash my soul

I surrender!
I surrender!
I SURRENDER! 

Suddendly,
As if magic...

I taste the sweetness of tenderness
I feel the softness of loving-kindness
I am craddled by the warmth of compassion

I am finally home!

I see the face of LOVE
It is a WOMAN!

~ Teresa Pimenta
(5 September 2017)

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How To Make A Change In Your Life

Have you been struggling with repetitive negative or destructive patterns? 
Is there something in your life you wish to change but you seem to never succeed?

In his book Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins suggests that you ask yourself some specific questions to help you make that change. Those were actually the questions I asked myself, leading me to some powerful breakthroughs uncovering the root cause of my weight battle. (I wrote about it here)  
So, if you are ready to play, to sit down and put pen to paper… but only if you are really willing to do that… 
You know, you can read a book to learn how to swim but you won’t ever swim unless you get yourself inside water. 

Ok, you get it, right? So, here it goes. 

Answer these questions in this specific order: 

1)    What are two things that you need to do and you have been procrastinating on them?

2)    Why haven’t you acted upon them? What pain have you associated to this action in the past?

3)    What pleasure have you felt in the past by giving yourself into this negative pattern?

4)    What will be the price to pay if you don’t change now? What will it cost you over the next 2, 3, 5 years? What will it cost you emotionally? What about self-image? And about physical energy? Self-love? Financially? Romantic relationships? 

5)    How does that make you feel?

6)    What pleasure will you get if you act immediately?

I would love to read about what showed up for you. Would you like to share some insights you may have had? I would love to read them. Comment below and I'll get back to you.

My Weight Loss Battle

My battle with weight began when I was around 16. I have never been too obese but I was definitely overweight. No matter how many people would tell me I looked good, I didn’t feel good at all, either about the way I looked or about the way I felt.

I would engage in crazy gym challenges and diets and, needless to say, it only worked out for a short period of time. And then, everything would start all over again. 

I won’t go into the guilt or the shame that battle brought along. That’s not the reason I’m writing this. 

2 years ago, I started doing some major spiritual and self-development healing work on myself and around that time, after hitting a threshold of physical pain in my joints, I could hear my body shouting out loud that it was time for a deep change. I could feel this time the decision was coming from a totally different place inside of me… I was certain I was going to change! 

And I did! I started taking care of the food I would put inside my body and I started to feel awesome, lighter and more energised than ever. The joints pain completely disappeared and I could move my body in ways that I couldn’t do before. 

I was feeling AMAZING! Had I finally owned this? Was it really possible? I was so HAPPY!

6 months ago, I had a surgery to an epigastric hernia and it didn’t take long for me to realise I was going back to the old patterns and I was bullshitting me with a bunch of excuses to eat some cookies late in the evening or even to have some chips twice a week. My belly was getting bigger (I don’t know about you, but for me it’s always the belly!) and I would fool myself telling myself that it was due to the hernia surgery. 

There was a thought running over and over in my mind - “NOT AGAIN!”
And the more I heard it, the more I didn’t want to look at it, and the more cookies I felt like eating. (By the way, I would make sure the cookies were the healthy kind of cookies, fooling myself that those were not a big thing.)

One day, with love, no judgement whatsoever, and as curious as I could be, I decided it was time to go deeper to find out the real root of this, since it was clear I was not healed yet. I knew that in this internal system of making decisions there should be a belief that was making me sabotage my outcome. 

Sitting outside, with the help of Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within, EUREKA!
I had a fucking breakthrough, and then others followed! (Wow … multiple breakthroughs?! Oh… yes, there’s more than multiple orgasms!)

I realised I took a lot of pleasure out of the process of losing weight! It gave me a challenge to pursue and I would get an immense sense of accomplishment and big achievement in succeeding at losing weight. Now… guess what? For me to be able to engage in that achievement of losing weight, I would have to have weight to lose, to begin with.  I would put on weight to engage in the process of being successful at losing it afterwards (how fucked up is that?!).

And then…another breakthrough! Succeeding at losing weight would make me feel really significant. As others would notice me and tell me “Oh, you lost weight!” or “Hum, you look thinner!”, instead I would hear them say “you look awesome” or “you look pretty” and what that really meant was “I SEE YOU!”. 

BOOOMMMM… another massive breakthrough hitting me hard!
I had created this belief that others would never see me, that I was unnoticeable! So, I ended up finding a way to have people looking at me and really see me!  

You see, my sister, who is one year younger than me, she is so beautiful that as long as I can remember being a baby, every time we would go anywhere with our parents, everybody would look at her and comment on how beautiful she was and how beautiful her eyes were. Hardly ever anyone would notice me and when they did, they would turn to me second place and say “oh…and you…you are beautiful too”. (today I know that, in my mind, I would show them the finger! ;) ). 

I was only 2 or 3 years old (yes, I know… I have a great memory…and I can go even further back in time – amazing what babies can remember, right?) and that was how I perceived and experienced the events; that was the meaning I gave to them and from there I made a decision and soon a liming belief was born. 

And as time went by, life made sure to provide me enough evidence to prove me that I was right. I had become the creator of a self-fulfilling prophecy! 

Now that I uncovered the root cause, healing can finally begin!

Me and my sis about a month ago :)

Me and my sis about a month ago :)

If you are curious about the questions that helped me uncover this story, or if there’s something you want to change in your life, I share more in my other article

 

Are You A Prisoner Of Worry?

Many times we let ourselves be caught in the depression of an illusion.

Many times we are worried or sad about something that has not even happened yet and may well never happen. Still, because we get trapped inside our heads, listening to the thoughts and the story around them, we get caught into living an illusion.

While trapped in that hallucinating world, we are missing out on our present moment, our reality. We miss out on living our real life for the exchange of our imaginary hallucinating one. Have you ever thought about that?

Well, while you are living that hallucinating imaginary life, who is really living your present one?
And while you are living that hallucinating imaginary life, who are you leaving behind?
And while you are living that hallucinating imaginary life, what and who are you missing out?
And while you are living that hallucinating imaginary life, what are you really not living?

Budha once said "your problem is that you think you have time". WE NEED TO REMEMBER OUR MORTALITY!

Here's a poem I wrote just last week while experiencing this specific situation in my own life.



THOUGHTS ARE THIEVES

A Spring evening
You & I
Together…

I’m there,
You’re not!
My eyes see you yet my soul feels you not.

You’re trapped inside your head
Locked in that cage
Believing your thoughts
Hallucinating.

Nothing but a story those thoughts tell you,
Nothing but a lie,
Nothing but an illusion…
Still so real to you!

The possibility of pain
Becomes pain itself.

Thoughts are the thieves
Stealing you from your real life
Stealing you from me
Keeping you locked inside that hallucinating world.

Thoughts make you think you have time.
Thoughts don’t die.
We do!

(Teresa Pimenta, May 2017)

What in you needs to die so that you can be FREE?

In moments of blissful experiences or painful emotional depth, sometimes I write. I'm not a writer but I write!

Either to celebrate or to heal, I need that intensity. Staying at a surface level for me is more like being emotionally numb. That's just how I know myself... Diving deeper makes me feel more alive than ever. That's how I ravish my soul! 

It's kind of easy to get why someone would celebrate and intensify the blissful moments life offers us once in a while, right? But... why would someone intensify their pain?

Well, for many many years I have rejected pain with all my strength until I realised that the healing only happens when I really sit down quietly with that pain. Well, don't take me wrong, because there was nothing silent about those deep painful moments (I screamed and shouted like hell!!!). By quietly I mean to sit and listen to the screaming and the yelling... to sit so quietly that I could even hear my heart weeping and bleeding... and in that intensity I would just run out of any strength and I would finally surrender and give in.

It was in that exact moment when I gave in to fighting the pain, that the healing did begin.

An in one of those deep, painful and transformational moments a poem was born as part of the healing process itself. As words were rushing to the paper, I could feel the pain increasing inside. But for me, intensifying the pain is kind of like connecting at a deeper soul level with myself. The deeper I feel the deeper I can heal.

That day, the ME I had known for years had to die, so that I could be reborn into a free untethered wild spirit.

As strange as it may seem, making pain so unbearable by intensifying it just gives me the rush and the leverage I need to get out of that painful situation faster. 

What about you? Do you stay in the pain to heal? How do you go through painful moments? Do you also need this emotional intensity?

Write in the comments. I would love to read it!

Today, I am ready to share that poem with the world.

 

She-Wolf

Wounded she-wolf…

Suspicious,
Cautious,
Searching for a safe path
Among the ferocious traps
Of the unknown road called Surrender.

Desperate,
She looks for the healing to her deep wounds.

Unable to hear the whisper of her soul
She takes refuge.

Despair and pain take over her…

Disoriented and confused,
She dives into cutting and ripping pathways
Tearing her off to pieces
Leaving her entire soul
Vulnerably laying in the open sky.

She is shattered into
Small mirrored pieces,
Ruins impossible to recompose.

Everything in her dies!

Her soul weeps and digs deeper,
Nourishing herself
From the stream of her own tears.

May she be reborn now
A strong she-wolf!

May she sprout wise and confident
Pure and wild
Exuberant
No tethers

Free!

Teresa Pimenta (Dec. 2013)

Because this was originally written in Portuguese, I share the original version with all the Portuguese readers. 

Loba

Loba Ferida,
Desconfiada,
Cautelosa,
Procura caminho seguro
Por entre as armadilhas ferozes
Da estrada chamada Entrega.

Desesperada,
Procura a cura para as suas feridas.

Incapaz de ouvir o discurso da sua alma,
Refugia-se!

O desespero e a dor tomam conta dela!

Desorientada,
Mergulha em caminhos dilacerantes
Rasgando-a até à alma.

Desfaz-se
Em pedaços espelhados,
Ruínas impossíveis de recompor.

Toda ela morre!

Sua alma escava bem fundo,
Nutre-se do regato das suas lágrimas.

Que renasça agora
Uma loba forte.
Que brote sábia e confiante
Pura e selvagem.

Exuberante,

Sem amarras,

Livre!

Teresa Pimenta (Dec. 2013)

 

A Small Rock and a Life Lesson on SUCCESS

That day the Spring sun was shining and I felt like going into the nature. After driving for 15 minutes we ended up on the side of the river. People were already sunbathing, kids were laying in the water, dogs were swimming and chasing balls. And we were just stopping by, no bathing suit nor towel... only my deep desire to go and be near the water.

Gui (10) was having fun throwing small rocks into the river and he soon decided to raise the bar and went on a mission to take out a hand size rock that was stuck under the earth.  After a quick look around, he grabbed a tiny nail size rock and started digging around the bigger one. He dug for quite some time and the big rock was getting more and more exposed. I could tell he would be able to grab it and pull it out shortly. There I was, with these thoughts in my head and then I hear:

- Mum, I quit!

There it was... a moment to teach him something really powerful about life and the challenges it brings us.

- After spending so much time digging and putting so much effort on that challenge, are you going to quit now? Did you know that usually when we quit something, we are only 2 millimetres away from achieving our goal? Let's try something! You go back and just keep digging for 2 more minutes and let's see what happens.

Shortly after he triumphantly raise the rock and threw into the river.

You see, in life it's never the lack of resources that stops you from successfully achieving your goals and making your dreams come true. RESOURCEFULNESS IS THE KEY!

Knowing his outcome, being creative to use that nail size rock as a digging tool, being persistent, consistent and resilient enough to not give up on his outcome, allowed him to achieve his goal.

Do you know what happened next? I mean, after we happily celebrated his success, rewarding his tenacity? He dared to dream bigger! He then went for a really big rock, found himself a thick sharpened stick as a tool and went on a new mission, and this time he didn't even consider giving up.

In life, small successes take us closer to bigger dreams. When you feel like quitting, usually you are only 2 mm away from succeeding at whatever outcome you are going after. Get really clear on your outcome, become a really resourceful person and keep on chasing those dreams of yours!

The Question That Shaped My Life

Last December I was at Tony Robbins’s six-day seminar in Florida, Date with Destiny and there I had A LOT of Breakthroughs. Another word for that would be Insight. For those of you who have not been to a TR event or haven’t heard much about him, the best thing you can do to understand what he is truly about is to watch the documentary I’m Not Your Guru on Netflix.

One of the countless things I’ve learned from Tony Robbins was that QUESTIONS determine your focus and what you focus on is what you experience and what you get from life. So, today I want to tell you about a major “ahah” moment I had with what he calls the PRIMARY QUESTION.

A Primary Question is a dominant question you ask yourself on a consistent basis and that filters your thinking (conscious and unconscious). It’s a question that pops up constantly across contexts. Even if you aren’t consciously aware of it, you believe that if you live by this question, you will feel ultimate success, pleasure and fulfilment. Your identity is often tied to this question. You experience life through the lenses of it.

So, now that you know what a primary question is, let’s me share with you what MY primary question has been for 44 years (i.e. until last December). I have lived my life through the lens of this question - “How can I make this better?. For me life, in all its areas, was always about improving, making better, making more effective, more inspirational, more impactful. I was always looking for ways to make anything, I mean, ANYTHING better.

The magical thing about having a “ahah” moment with Tony Robbins is that he always makes sure you find the higher intent behind any of your behaviour/decision/emotion. So I was able to, not only uncover that primary question, but also see both the benefits and the downsides of it.

As TR also teaches us, first let’s go for the upsides of that. What were the empowering effects that came about for asking that question? What did that question do for me? Well, here’s what I found out. To consistently ask myself that question I believed that there’s always a better way; that there’s always space for improvement; that change is needed and that change is something positive. I learned not to settle, to become more creative, more determined and I grew up into a hungry and insatiable woman.

And what were the downsides of that? What did that cost me? I must confess this was a very deep and emotional moment. When I was face to face with the truth of it, I cried as I became aware that I was always too hard on myself, always demanding too much from me; I didn’t enjoy being myself because I was always looking for ways to make ME better, and that means in some moments I was making ME wrong.

I would always try to “fix” others and make them better, as if there was anything wrong with them… Can you imagine how I have made people feel in the past? OMG, so many things I did wrong with my kids and my relationships. It’s a fact that what I did to myself I would do to others.

I know I did the best I could with the resources I had but still, it hurts like hell to think about the pain I caused, specially to my kids.

TR helped me find out WHY I had that as my primary question. For some reason (well, like I said I had a lot of breakthroughs, so I know the reason, but I’ll tell you about that in another post) I had this belief that if I didn’t make things better, more inspirational, more impactful, people wouldn’t notice me, I would be unseen, which means I would be ignored, which means I would be insignificant, which means I wouldn’t be loved. Such a scary frightened little girl was living inside of me! So now I cherish and nurture that part of me, the scary one, the one looking for love and significance. And I forgave myself for the pain I caused to my kids.

If we are always looking for ways to make things/people better, we are not allowing space for things/people to be just the way they are. Many times, WE just want to be loved, THEY just want to be loved, I just want to be loved… unconditionally loved being imperfectly perfect. And there are moments that we just need to BE and not DO. After all, “are you a human being or a human doing?” (Tony Robbins)

So… I am so thrilled and excited to share with you my new Primary Question – “How can I appreciate even more the beauty and the perfection of what is in this present moment, trusting that I am always guided?” Can you imagine how different my life will be now?!

Now, I’m curious to know… what is a question you repeatedly ask yourself? What do you consistently focus on? What question do you ask most often based on this focus? It’s my deepest wish that this story may help you in some way and I would love to know what your primary questions are. So, please leave your comments below.

And remember, YOU are imperfectly perfect.