How your life can be shaped and impacted by an unconscious decision

Somewhere in time, there was one decision you made (consciously or unconsciously) that shaped the trajectory of your life and may have caused you to freeze in time, not serving you any longer now. Do you know what that decision was?

Did you know that if you bring a situation, and add massive pain / trauma to it, you have the recipe for a STRONG decision that will create a ripple effect in your life?

The bigger the emotion attached to an event, the deeper and stronger the decision. And THESE are usually the decisions that impact the way we perceive and experience the world, often becoming a buried unconscious limiting belief.

I only uncovered such a strong decision when I got to 43 years old.

Let me tell you about the day I made the decision "it isn't safe for me to express myself because bad things happen".

I'm 9 years old. It's a beautiful sunny Sunday and we're heading to a local amusement park to celebrate the city's holiday. My dad drives a van from his job, my mum and my baby sister are sitting at the front, and me and my sister (8) are standing in the back of the van. (Not a lot safety measures back then!)

Me and my sister, we are very excited about going to the city centre. My parents are having their adult conversation, and we too are having our kids' talk. You would think we are talking about cartoons or school or friends... But No! We are chatting about being stitched, and how painful that must be, as my sister refers to a surgery she had when she was very little.

Well... here comes the part why I am telling you this story!

— I don't ever want to have to go to the hospital and get stitches! — I say to her.

The minute I say these words, our van crashes into another car, I fly to the front of the van and smash my mouth against a metal bar. 😱😭 Blood all over the place and I end up in hospital having my mouth stitched in several places. (sorry about the graphics)

One small detail — I am the ONLY one who gets injured! This, for sure, did help confirm the decision I am, unknowingly, about to make at the age of 9.

Unconsciously, that day, in that moment, I make the decision that when I open my mouth, bad and painful things happen. That day, I unconsciously decide that it isn't safe to express myself. You see, in my 9 year old mind, I just expressed my wishes and I got punished for that.

(Oh yeah, I was already being brainwashed about a punishing God!!!)

This decision will run the show for the following 30 plus years of my life. Can you imagine the impact this decision has had in my life? Can you imagine the decisions I made, and didn't make, based on that decision?

Can you see how important it is to know our beliefs?

What about you? What could have been a situation in your life that ended up being a decision making moment, that may be holding you back in life?

Share in the comments. I always read them and reply back.

#DecisionmakingMoments #Beliefs #GetCuriousAboutYourBeliefs #BreakthroughsAreTheJuiceOfGrowth

An invitation to the present moment

B r e a t h e

breathe

pray

breathe

s t a y

silence is the way

be

just be

no "I"

no "Me"

no space

no time

nothing to do

nothing to find

be

just be

stay

s t a y

silence is the way

be all

be nothing

melt that ego

let go of that something.

©Teresa Pimenta | April 2019

I Forgive Myself

I forgive myself for every hurt I've ever caused myself.

I forgive myself for every time I shut up and didn't speak my truth. I forgive myself for every time I judged myself. I forgive myself for every time I believed I was a bad person. I forgive myself for being so hard on myself. I forgive myself for every time I put myself last. I forgive myself for having stayed too long in situations I knew were not right for me. I forgive myself for having judged my anger as wrong.

I forgive myself for thinking others were right for treating me wrong. I forgive myself for all the times I lost my sh*t and snapped at my kids. I forgive myself for believing I was not worthy of love. I forgive myself for believing I deserved to be punished for the anger I felt inside. I forgive myself for every suicidal thought that has crossed my mind. I forgive myself for not trusting myself. I forgive myself for all the times I didn't love myself. I forgive myself for all the times I have been pissed and angry at spirit.

I forgive myself! I forgive myself!

I forgive myself for every time I have compromised my integrity. I forgive myself for all the times I didn't trust my intuition.

I forgive myself! I forgive myself!

I forgive myself for all the years I spent believing I wasn't worthy of being alive. I forgive myself for every time I betrayed my soul. I forgive myself for all the choices I've made that have inflicted pain in my spirit. I forgive myself for all the times I believed my body to be a currency. I forgive myself for judging myself so hard. I forgive myself for believing that who I am, as I am, was never good enough.

I forgive myself and I set myself free!

©Teresa Pimenta

How to Set Boundaries

Having trouble setting boundaries? If you have any trouble setting boundaries, know that you are not alone. They are hard for all of us and if you were born (like me) with the tendency to please everyone around you, it gets even harder.

Setting boundaries is huge for people pleasers!!! Anticipating an emotional reaction to our boundaries is a struggle and it can be overwhelming for people like me, who feel deep.

Some years ago, I recall a friend who I consider a boundaries queen (she nails that sh*t like a pro!) asking me what I found so difficult about putting a boundary in place. At the time, the only thing I could tell her was how it actually felt in my body. See if you can relate to what I told her that day:

— Imagine you haven’t been to the gym in years, you now weigh 150kg and you have to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes… imagine how that would feel… Well, I’d still rather go on that treadmill than setting a boundary to which I am expecting an emotional reaction.

She had no idea that it was that hard!

But let me share with you that, like everything in life, the more you practise, the better you get at doing it. Remember... Every time you draw a boundary, you show yourself a little more love.

And here’s a free hack — when you do set a boundary, make sure to shake that booty and celebrate. That's how you rewire your nervous system to want to do it again.

Here's what you need to know — Your boundaries are YOUR responsibility! You need to know them and communicate them. Setting boundaries IS your job! What IS NOT your job is to manage people's reaction to your boundary!!! Their emotional reaction is theirs and it’s not yours to manage.

Here's some hacks on setting a boundary:

1. Once you're clear about the boundary, you need to set it in place and communicate it in a SIMPLE way. Simple is key here. The more we go about giving way too much information, we’re creating space for the possibility to fail in following through with it.

2. You do not need to explain yourself.

3. You do not need to apologize for it.

4. Be prepared and expect an emotional reaction. If you prepare yourself for there to be a reaction, then it’s easier to simply let it come. And please, don't make it about you, because it is not. It’s THEIR reaction. Breathe through their reaction and repeat to yourself: "This is not my responsibility. It's not my job to manage their feelings".

5. Be prepared for the possibility of your own self-judgment talk to creep in afterwards. It’s normal if it does. After all, this thing of setting boundaries is a challenge and we’re still practising putting them in place. If (or when) that inner critic shows up, stay present to it, show those thoughts your love and remember that you don’t have to believe them. Remember that you’re not your thoughts. Give yourself a lot of Love and compassion if (or when) the self-judgment talk creeps in. It will get easier with time and practise.

And please, remember... it's not so much that you are saying "no" to others, but that you are saying YES to yourself.

What's a boundary you know you need to set? What do you worry will happen if you do it?

Leave a comment below. I always read and reply to comments!

#SetYourBoundaries #BoundariesAreAnActOfSelfLove #YouOweItToYourself#SelfLoveRevolution

To All Mothers, Sons and Daughters

It was short after midnight, June 10th 1999, and I had no idea I was about to be hit by a storm that would shake me up to my core and would completely change the trajectory of my life! I had just given birth to my first child and I was about to have an encounter with God.

That was the day I knew Unconditional Love for the first time.

I was left alone with him in my arms, just the two of us in the room. Already feeling the effect of the epidural disappearing, I looked at his beautiful face and all I could see was nothing but LOVE!

In a split second, THAT Love that cracked my heart open and planted the seed of the POSSIBILITY that I too had once been loved like that.

That POSSIBILITY was all it took to awaken an unknown part of myself! It opened a door to a new world and there it was... a storm unravelling inside of me.

Torn between the anger I felt for not feeling loved by my mom and the strange, unfamiliar and indescribable feeling of unconditional love for my newborn baby, I was far from imagining that a new world was getting ready to unravel and that I would forever be changed.

Even if it had been for a minute or even just a second... She must have! She had to! I refused to believe that my mom would not have loved me like that when I was born. No way!

And I SO wanted that love... I wanted that love so badly, that I held on to that moment since then. Even if it had been for just a moment... even if it had been for just a second, I would take it... and I DID!

That's all it takes to melt a human heart -- a glimpse into the depths of Unconditional Love and you'll never know life again the same way. That's how powerful UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is.

And so I pray and give thanks:

Thank you Divine Mother, for holding me with love, for lovingly guiding me into the sweetness of your heart, showing me the way back to Unconditional Love, where I fully love and embrace myself with your loving and sweet support.

It's nothing short of a miracle that I can feel this much Love inside myself and for that, Divine Mother, I am beyond grateful.

Today, more than ever, I celebrate Unconditional Love.

To all the MOTHERS, for you my wish is that you can always stay strong in the so often challenging quest of unconditionally loving your children.

To all the SONS and DAUGHTERS, for you my wish is that you may know in your heart how deep your mother's unconditional love for you is. And, if for some reason it so happens that it's not coming from your earthly mother, know that Divine Mother holds you ALL in her heart, filled with a miraculously healing Unconditional Love.

I know this because She has shown me.
I know this because She has told me so.
I know this because I feel it in my bones.

I know this because I am the living proof of Her Love.

From a very spacious and loving place,

I am holding YOU ALL with LOVE,

©Teresa Pimenta

#DivineLove #UnconditionalLove #Motherhood #Mothers #EmpoweringWomen

Leah Petrusich

Stop beating yourself up!

If you're going through some hardships, or maybe you're beating yourself up over something, this is for you!

About three years ago I was going through some TOUGH sh*t in my personal life and at the time I was part of an amazing supportive badass program/group created and led by the amazing Jason Goldberg.

I remember one particular day being quite tough and I was looking for a way to be able to come out of a state that wasn't serving me.

I had the strategies and the tools. I had the know-how but I was stuck and kept resisting shifting into a more playful approach to the issue. Sounds familiar?

And then, my dear friend Jennifer dropped this mic-drop-mind-blowing wisdom bomb comment:

"Ooopps, If you played with this then you'd have to forgive yourself and give yourself a break. Then what might your life be like?"

That comment shifted everything for me!

So, my friend... where in your life are you taking yourSelf so seriously?

Where in your life are you being so hard on yourSelf, causing you to hold yourSelf back?

Where in your life are you judging yourSelf so hard, causing you to play small in your birthright to being awesomely happy?

What would be possible for you if you would actually step up and dared to LOVE the sh*t out of yourSelf?

#DareToLoveTheShitOutOfYourSelf

©Teresa Pimenta

How People Pleasing and Ignoring your Inner Voice can get you into trouble

From talking to people and looking at everything that's been happening around us this last year, I notice that more and more it may feel harder and harder to stay true to your own self, to your beliefs, your values and to everything that feels right to you.

There's pressure coming from all directions in order for us to make certain decisions just because, making many of us engage in things that are totally not right for us.

💛 How much do you trust your intuition?

💛 How much sh*t to do TOLERATE when you don't honour your truth?

💛 Are you afraid to say NO to people?

In this video I share a story about a day I didn't follow my gut, went into pleasing instead, and ended up in serious trouble because of it. I have dozens of stories that I could tell you where I got myself into (serious) trouble for not listening to my gut and/or my intuition.

Do you have moments that you wish you had followed that inner voice? Does this ring a bell to you?

More and more, the world needs empowered people, willing to own their truth and stand in their power, no matter what!!!

I'd love to hear your stories. Share in the comments or feel free to send me an email.

Note: in the video you hear me addressing women and that doesn't mean I think only women have their inner voices. Not at all! All of us have it! It's just that my audience that day (a couple of years ago) was only women.

Message from Divine Mother

"Oh my beautiful child, you came… I'm so happy that you're here, my dear child. I've been here holding you through your anger and frustration. There's nothing but love and acceptance waiting for you here, my child. Welcome back, my dear child.

All of those stories, all that hurt, all that anger, all the judgments, all of that… that's not what you truly are, my dear.

In the midst of the storm may you find space and courage to come within, my dear. I'm so proud of you, my dear child. You are doing such a great job.

Go within, my dear. Go within! Breathe deep, my child. Breathe deep! Feel how much life loves you in every breath you take. Feel that love, my dear. Feel how much life supports you in every breath you take, my child.

Let the breath go deeper and deeper. Follow that breath, my dear. Follow that breath! Become that breath, my child. Become that breath.

May you experience unconditional love in every breath you take, my dear child. May you experience abundance in every breath, my dear. May you experience self-worth in every breath you take. May you know life's unconditional love in every breath. May you know life's acceptance of your being in every breath, my child.

Breathe, my child. Breathe! Let life love you, my sweet beloved child! Let that love in, my dear! Let that love in.”

- Divine Mother | June 2nd 2019 (channeled by ©Teresa Pimenta)

Art work by Shiloh Sophia McCloud

Divine Mother on the Key Ingredients To (Self) Trust

Back in 2019, during a very demanding time in my life (AKA dark night of the soul) this was one of the many conversations with Divine Mother. This conversation was about (Self) TRUST (which is such a challenge for a people pleaser in recovery like me) and the KEY INGREDIENTS to develop and nourish it. That day I started out with a prayer and then, as usual, she did all the talking and I listened.

Mother, you ask me to trust and I am so scared. I know you can feel my fear and I feel how much you love me through it.
Mother, may I have the courage to fully trust and have faith in this love that invites me daily to surrender.
Mother, may I be granted the wisdom and courage to come from love and not the ego.
Mother, may my heart keep opening up to you, to the Divine love that heals our human hearts.
Mother, may I have the strength to let myself go and let myself fall into your divine grace.

"My beloved child, I love that your heart feels so deeply, my dear. Allow yourself to feel everything! Don’t run away! Don’t hide from it, my child! The deeper you feel, the more doors you open, my dear.

That’s it! Take your time! Breathe, my dear. Breathe!

In the depths you find me, my beloved child. In the depths! Do not fear to dive in, my dear. Fear not! The depths are not dark. There’s pure divine light in the depths, where stillness and silence dance together.

The deeper you go, the brighter it gets, my dear.

Dive those waters, my child. Fear not to dive those waters! They may not look pretty in the beginning. It’s where all the conditioning is, where all the beliefs you were made to believe are, where the things you believe yourself to be are. But if you are brave enough to continue diving, in the depths you’ll find me, my beloved child. Where the waters are pristine, clear, crystal like the purest of the diamonds.

Let yourself fall in that river, my child. Flow with it and be brave to dive deep. In the depths you’ll find me, my child.

You are a vessel of love, my dear. You are a beautiful vessel of love, my child.

Can you trust even when you don't know? Can you? Trust gives you the peace and the ease that you so long for, my child.

Trust life! Trust yourself! You are not separate, my dear. When you trust yourself you will trust life, because one is not without the other. When you trust life, you create an openness to faith – a faith beyond yourself, a faith that will guide you all the way to what you truly are, my dear.

FAITH will give you the power you need to keep diving into the Truth. Faith is the shield that protects you from the ego! Nourish that faith, my dear child. Only the brave ones will dare to hold that shield, my beloved daughter.

Faith is the shield and COURAGE is the sword! Hold them both wisely and strongly, my dear.

A sharp sword, Courage, opens the door, clears the path for you to walk through to the Ultimate Truth, the Ultimate Liberation. A strong and robust shield, Faith, protects you from the hurtful and deadly arrows the ego throws at you. These arrows are all the things you know so well – doubt, judgement, guilt, shame, unworthiness...

So, my child, take care of your shield and remember to sharpen your sword frequently.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to be truthful, to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to trust yourself enough to be willing to show up and face the fears you will meet along the way.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to open yourself up and let yourself be seen, be fully seen in your authenticity, in your most authentic unfiltered expression in the world.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to trust the voice in your heart and not the one in your head.

As for Faith, as for the shield, that requires a sharp sword, my child! Only those who are willing to go beyond themselves will be graced with that shield, my child. Gratitude… prayer… meditation… these are some of the things that make that shield strong enough to continue the inward journey.

Blessed you be, my child, for being brave enough to be holding this shield. Blessed you be!

Once you let yourself fall into the depths of your being, holding that shield and that sword, the more you take care of your shield, the more you dare with your sword and the deeper you go.

The more you dare to open your heart, the more you'll find yourself protected not by a shield but by a blanket of love. And that, my child, is the ultimate faith – trust that a blanket (LOVE) will keep you as safe as a shield.

Be watchful to not let yourself fall into the trap of making yourself insignificant when taking care of your Faith.

First, you need to go beyond yourself and cultivate that faith in order to be able to pass through the traps of the ego. But please, do not let yourself lose your Self in this process, because the power is ultimately within you, my dear.

Remember, you and I, we are not separate, my child!

- Divine Mother | June 16th 2019 (channeled by ©Teresa Pimenta)

Art by Josephine Wall

Can people pleasers really TRUST themselves?

Can people pleasers really TRUST themselves?
What is the price to pay for not stepping up in your truth?

Finding out who I am after over 40 years of a life of people pleasing, of avoiding conflict at any cost, it has been nothing short but a damn hard adventure and also a surprisingly worthy challenge.

Was this conscious? Was I aware that I was pleasing others? Was I aware that I was avoiding confrontation to the expense of annihilating myself? Hell no!

Today, many pains and many tears later, I know that in each of those moments that I stayed low, played small, hid myself, said yes when I wanted to say no, smiled when I wanted to cry, agreed and pleased when I wanted to say “fuck you”… Today I know that in all those moments I was betraying myself, losing complete respect for myself as I believed the tyrant I had become to myself — the tyrant that made me believe that who I was as a person was WRONG, that I was unlovable and that I was a worthless piece of shit!

How could I trust myself? How could I trust others? How could I trust life if I couldn’t even trust myself enough to honour my own truth?

With all the pain and hurt, I started playing defensive and shutting myself more and more, not only to others but also to myself. As time went by, I was further and further away from myself, from my truth, from who I truly was. Buried deeper and deeper away from the light of my true self, I began to fade away. I had forgotten about myself! Life has forgotten about me! So it seemed… And the more I lost touch with myself, the higher the walls I began to build around me.

I was definitely locked inside the dungeons of an old castle, protected by a fortress armed with guards, ready to fight the slightest threat! I had built that fortress and buried myself in it. I became a lunatic guard to the castle, always ready to fight any perceived or hallucinated threat, which at that point in my life was basically anything that was out of my control. I was a wounded animal! My flesh was in the open air and the slightest breeze of air would cause a huge amount of pain and hurt like hell! A simple question such as "why don't you...?" sounded like a battle cry. That was not a question to me. It was a threat! I would not hear those words but instead I would hear "what you're doing is wrong!", "who you are is wrong!"

All that triggered me to battle! I fought hard! I kicked and scream and sure as hell I’ve hurt many people in the way. I was fucking angry! Rage was burning inside and was the king of the castle!

No matter how hard I tried to make others happy, that mission was failing over and over again. Not only did I not know who I was, but the one I believed to be, the pleaser, was doing a miserable job. What a worthless piece of shit I was! The significant others were not happy around me or pleased at all and I was a total wreck, a human failure.

And it was only when I hurt the ones that I love the most, that it would hit me straight into the heart. You know, I didn’t care about myself! I was not important! I didn’t matter! My feelings didn’t matter. After all, I was such a bad person, so unlovable and such a worthless piece of shit. But hurting them? That caused a huge amount of pain and it would make me even more furious.

To those I’ve hurt, I’ve already asked for forgiveness. As for me, I’ve not only asked for forgiveness, but I actually forgave myself for it. How else could I love myself if I wasn’t capable of forgiving myself for the hurt and pain I inflicted upon me?! If I ever wanted to feel true love in my heart, that was the only way.

Having brought those walls down, having allowed myself to be seen raw and naked in my vulnerability and my humanity, I am now on a daily journey of reclaiming my voice, daring to speak my truth and show up authentic in the world. And just like a drug addict, it’s a day by day process. Celebrating every moment of authenticity and vulnerability, mothering and nurturing myself when I don’t do it, rejoicing in the bliss and humility of being boldly present through all of it.

What brought me here? The Love others generously and kindly projected onto me brought me here. The love of the brave ones who dare to love fiercely through the hardships, brought me here.

Today I can write about it, I can see it clearly and today I am able to love myself through all of this… for who I have been, for who I am and for who I am becoming.

Today, I’m on a daily journey of choosing love and compassion, feeling deeply grateful for the greatest gift life has finally gifted me with — the LOVE that I feel in my heart, AT LAST!
And knowing in my bones that there’s no mistakes or regrets in Love, knowing with my whole being that Love is always worth it, I am now finally living from Love as Love!

Little me

Like this article? Would anyone you know benefit from it? Share it!

How I Reclaimed My Power Back

Let's talk about A N G E R  !

Before we jump right in, have you noticed how similar this word is to dANGER?!

Just like with F.e.a.r, I used to have a very intimate relationship with  A N G E R.

Oh my... oh my... That sh*t was serious! 💥 💣

You know, People Pleasers are very ANGRY and so are tons of WOMEN!
Women are angry and have never been allowed to express their anger. So we've learned to judge it & then judge OURSELVES for feeling it!

Now, here's the thing! That sh*t will have to come out at one point or another and that's when it gets really, I mean REALLY ugly! So then we JUDGE ourselves even HARDER!

How did I transform all that anger?

Well, for me Tog Chod was the key! Tog Chod is the practice you can see in the video, created by my Tibetan Buddhist Lama Tulku Lobsang.

This practise was like water to the driest and thirstiest plant — I was dying to get my hands on that sword ⚔️ and f*cking express all the anger I felt inside!

And I did! I F*CKING DID IT!💪

I killed so many monsters during tons of hours of practise. Forget about RECLAIMING my voice! At the time I wanted to f*cking ROAR! 🔥

ROAR b*tch, ROAR! 🦁🦁🦁

Whether or not you have access to this practise or any other, the point is that you need to Honour and allow yourself to Express your anger in a safe way. If you've been stuffing it down, shutting your voice, not speaking your truth and you know you're f*cking angry, I do know I can help you RIGHT NOW!

If this resonates somewhere within your being then you and I should have a conversation.

And, in case nobody told you today… or recently… or ever...

You sure are entitled to be ANGRY!

Sending Love,

Teresa

#AngerIsToBeHonoured #ExpressYourself #SelfAcceptance#ReclaimYourPower
 #AuthenticityIsTheNewBlack 

Coming Out Of The Woo Woo Closet

It's been a week since I've faced the greatest fear ever and came out to the world as a spiritual channel. Today, a beautiful sunny Sunday, I'm all by myself sitting by the river, feeling the sun on my skin and my bare feet on the grass.

The thoughts in my head are just like the thousands of frogs singing in the river - I get to decide if they will be music or noise. The mind wants me to believe there is definitely something wrong with me. How could I possibly feel at home within myself here alone when it seems everyone walking by has more exciting things to do? But today I'm not believing any of those thoughts. There's a beauty, a peacefulness and an ease about this place I'm writing from.

Having gone through all that fear last week as I wanted to share with the world what's been happening for the last 10 years as far as the channeling is concerned, having walked that fire and coming through to the other side in one piece and alive (yes, it did feel like I was going to die!), has me feeling a different woman today.

Today I'm feeling an Empowered Woman! I'm feeling a total badass and mainly — I am feeling FREE! Secrecy keeps us prisoners in the darkness!

My guide has been inviting me to TRUST over and over again and having such a logical mind I've fought all these years to really own these gifts. I have tried so many things. I've pushed it away, I've stuffed it down, I've made myself wrong over and over again. There was a moment I've even asked that, if it really did have to happen, then to please make me an unconscious channel. I couldn't think of anything more weird, more out of the box then me, a logical person, be made into a conscious channel that is always present, sees and hears everything and have the mind want to interpret everything, when nothing of it makes any sense to the mind.

On a journey to RECLAIMING MY VOICE and speaking my TRUTH, never in a million years would I even dare to think that I would have to listen to myself speaking a language my mind doesn't understand. A language I don't even know what it is or even if it's spoken anywhere else in the world. I got tired of doing research on it!

There is nowhere for me to hide. This has to happen and the more I resisted it, the more obstacles I began facing in my life and the more intense the spiritual pain got. My soul craves to be fully heard and seen and I didn't understand this was part of it.

Back to last week… what was that fear? What was that fear all about?
It was a fear that did not come from my mind. I couldn’t consciously pinpoint a reason to be afraid. It was in my body, in my cells, in my bones. It was everywhere within my being. My whole body ached as I was facing the fear and was getting ready to speak up. A memory stored in my DNA, a past life and a promise made under torture, kept on for many many lives. A promise that I would never teach high spiritual wisdom again. Guess what I'm being called to teach?!

I started my life by teaching English but I've always felt I was meant to teach something else. I just didn't know what it was. As years went by, I would find myself looking for ways to make the subject I had to teach from the English curriculum fit into a more social perspective, craving to bring awareness into certain subjects and looking to stir those students'  souls. When I look back, I was always a teacher that would ask thought-provoking questions. I was a teacher who would not follow the usual structure and usual way of doing things. I was a rebel teacher!

What has to happen will happen, no matter how long it takes! After 24 years teaching grammar, vocabulary, fashion, recipes, among others, back in 2014 life pushed me to the corner to call for my attention. And it certainly did!

Here I am today, 5 years later, a very different woman, willing to open myself to the scary yet also fascinating experience of living a fully AUTHENTIC life and express myself as I am, letting the world see me in my wholeness expressing my truth. I want to be able to express myself FREELY and owning my gifts is part of that FREEDOM

Here I am today, owning and sharing with the world that my truth, now, is that I've been channelling a very beautiful guide for over 10 years and that I not only listen and write what SHE has to say, but also that SHE also expresses herself through me speaking in a language which my mind doesn't understand but my heart does.

What about you? Is there anything in your life you KNOW you’re being called to do and yet fear cripples you and holds you back? If it is so, then you and I should have a conversation.

The Day I Met And Channeled Kali For The First Time

Do you know who Kali is?
Well, I have to tell you that I didn’t know anything about her until this very experience that I’m about to share with you. Not her name, not her story, not her picture, nothing!! Nothing at all!

What a mind-blowing experience this was while surrendering myself into an act of creation!

It was a cold afternoon and I felt like drawing or painting… not quite sure what to do but my hands surely felt like creating something. As I sat by the table with my brand-new fancy markers and a white sheet of paper, I start to wonder what I feel like drawing. Bad idea! When connecting to your intuition, you don’t wonder. You feel and you connect!

I checked my favourite pictures looking for inspiration, all the hearts and mandalas on my Pinterest albums. I was still in my head trying to figure out what I wanted to draw and to create. Don’t get me wrong, please. I am no drawing artist myself but when my hands want to create, I allow them to, even if it’s to draw a heart or a tree.

My hands wanted to move but my head and my thoughts were still in the way of the creation. I draw the shape of a heart and it really looks pretty (hearts are always pretty to me) and yet it feels so wrong. I get another sheet of paper and draw another round shape, which looks like I’m about to create a face but… NOPE, it’s not that either.

What a fool I didn’t know I was being! I had no clue that I was about to be drawn and not to draw. I was about to find out that something wanted to be born through me as I stepped into a place of being totally willing and open to trust the process. My mind wasn’t in control anymore!

I close my eyes, take some deep breaths, connect to my body, get myself another white sheet of paper, hit play on one of my playlists and then… all of a sudden, out of the blue, it begins to unfold.

I draw half of the upper body of a woman and what seemed like a big dress and from then on, I would fully surrender and immerse myself into a deep experience of feeling the shame of being a woman, the guilt and judgement of desiring sex, the fraud of not standing in my own power and my own truth.

My hands move alone, the images come to me and I don’t even know where they’re coming from. It’s as if something is wanting to speak to me and I decide to trust the process and go along with it. I really don’t have to understand it! My mind really wants to, but I don’t!

There’s a sweetness and a loving side to this energy coming to life in that paper, a side of her that seems to be betrayed and misunderstood, which made her rise up as this furious, enraged, powerful and fierce destroyer.

Throughout the whole process, there were some moments that really screamed out to me because they were very intense and I could feel them in my body, in the fast rhythm of my breath, in the tears rolling down my face, and in the rage and fear I was feeling inside.

The moment my pencil marks a spot in the yoni area, I am in shock and I can’t believe my eyes as I witness my hand doing it! In that moment, I could feel an intensifying strength in my arm that kept marking it really hard as she was saying to me:

“Yes! YES! There! It’s there! Own it! That’s really it! Don’t question! Don’t doubt! Don’t run away! That’s right there!”.

My hand keeps the pencil hitting that spot in the paper. I hit the pencil so hard and the energy is so intense that it almost seems I’ll be tearing off the paper. And in that moment, she starts to bleed — a river of blood, a volcanic explosion of blood that would go right to the centre of the earth bathing innumerable skulls which I refused to draw. That drawing was surely becoming too weird for me and since I’m not a drawing artist, I chose to skip drawing pilled bones and skulls.

Well, I could refuse to draw for sure but it surely wasn’t stopping there. Whatever was happening and whoever was creating that drawing, was hell yeah determined to make her point, to be seen and to be heard.

And from there, all of a sudden, I feel this sensation of being invaded by a wooden stick that would penetrate me through my vagina all the way up to my heart and throat, feeling like I was being crossed over from one side to the other. As this happened, I saw glimpses of men penetrating women as they raped them. From there, this huge rage began to build up inside of me and what was once painful and invasive, became a life force running through her, through me, from her yoni all the way up to her heart and throat.

And she spoke! OMG, she was speaking! I could hear her speaking to the men:
”How dare you doing this to me? I give you life! I feed you! I nurture you!”
“I will kill you all!”
“You will ALL die!”

And a deep roar of suffering reached out into the skies as I listened to her howling “NOooooooo!”

She was not only speaking to men but she was also speaking to me. You know, she wanted me to draw her with her legs fully and wide spread. Very timidly, I draw them spread, but she insisted that they were meant to be FULLY wide open.

And she spoke:
“Open them! Don’t be afraid! Don’t be ashamed! Hide no more! Own the fullness of you! Stand tall! Stand strong!”.

She wasn’t happy yet and so she kept going:
“Open up! Open up! Wider! Wider! Let them see ALL of you! Fear no more! Fear no more! Own yourself! Hide nothing! Fear nothing! Fully, fully open! Don’t you hear me?”.

I could hear her for sure! There’s no question about it! I was shaking all over and I drew her legs wider but it wasn’t enough yet. She wasn’t going to stop for sure. She had a message she wanted to make come across and she was going to do it no matter what. Was I up to the challenge? I was crying my eyes out, my hands were sweating and my whole body was shaking. There was no turning back and, in that moment, I decide that I might as well surrender fully to the process.

She went on:
“Don’t you hear me? I said OPEN UP! FULLY OPEN UP! I mean FULLY… FULLY, FULLY OPEN UP! Open until you feel you are breaking and tearing yourself apart! I am going to turn your world upside down!”

I have to pause. I cry and I shake to the bones! Every cell in my body is shaking.

And I am sitting there wondering “Who the hell is this image which not only happens to be blue (go figure) but she also looks like she has lots of arms?”. I was part of the Rewilding Group founded by Sabrina Lynn so I asked if they knew what that could be about, and they were all unanimous — KALI!

Well, it looks like I had an encounter with Kali! Still to this day I haven’t done any research on Kali, except for googling her image when the women told me it was her, to find my jaw dropping to the floor when I saw the similarity of what I saw in my experience and what google was showing me.

Research? What for? More food to the mind? Nope!
I felt her! I heard her! I sensed her! I saw her! I experienced her! She is me! I am her!
That’s good enough for me!

TODAY, one year later, I can tell you this — she did turn my world upside down!

Hit the Play Button to listen to me sharing the channelling with the women from Rewilding.

---

Healing The People Pleaser

What's the scariest thing for me as a people pleaser in recovery, who was always told to shut the fuck up?

SPEAK THE F*CK UP!

SHOW THE F*CK UP!

DARE to be fully seen in my VULNERABILITY and show up AUTHENTIC!

Having dared to step outside my comfort zone and show up doing a Facebook Live in the Tribe I created, was at the time a HUGE STEP! Still, I can see how I keep hiding behind the safety of a special place and being selective about who sees what.

I realise how many "gates" I can actually create for the world to see me. (That's how sneaky this can get!) There comes a time when I realise that I am half-daring and half-showing up. And there’s actually nothing wrong with that. It’s just that TODAY I feel like it’s time, and just for today, I want there to be no gates whatsoever.

Again, this is a huge step forward in facing the FEAR of being fully AUTHENTIC. You know, the fear will always be there and that’s one of the reasons practising daring and showing up is so crucial to me. I have tasted far too deep how crippling this fear is and can be if I let it control my life. There’s always a big fear of what my family will think or say about me, crying in a video out into the public. Chances are they’ll think I’m crazy! But you know what?!

I’m NOT CRAZY!!! I AM READY!!!! I AM FUCKING READY!!!

Do I really need to be seen? To be honest, I have no damn clue! But for me, this is where fear has been showing up big time and I know this is my free pass for the highway to freedom.

So, today I am sharing with all of you a behind the scenes (RAW & MESSY) of what happened inside that tribe of women a while back, where I held space for all the judgement, anger, frustration towards the people pleaser in me and it was only after this episode that I was able to finally ACCEPT and ACKNOWLEDGE that part of me.

Right now, the fearful side of me is in my head, doing everything it can, to have me post something else rather than this. To be totally honest, it´s been over 2 hours since I started this article.

It seems that there's this wave of authenticity and vulnerability showing up in the world and I can see how it can be easy to start rolling our eyes at that. And that's exactly the monologue the ego is having in my head right now: "Are you really going to write about that authenticity stuff, AGAIN? People are fed up with that!"

Oh yes baby, I am! Watch me! I won't be held prisoner today! It may happen tomorrow, but NOT today!

Doing this video allowed me to tap into unknown parts of myself and to learn that I can actually hold space for the WHOLENESS of me.

I don’t know a lot of stuff, but I KNOW THIS:

- I know for sure that HIDING in FEAR is no longer serving me and only stepping into this authentic & unfiltered experience of myself will I end up knowing myself deeply and truly.

- I know in my bones that authenticity will set me FREE and the more I dare into it, the more I TRUST myself!

- And I know in my bones that the more I TRUST myself, the more POWERFUL I'll be to have the GUTS to be willing to FIERCELY go beyond personal identity.

I don't want personal power to be rich! I don't want personal power to be famous! I don't want personal power to impact millions! I want personal power to set myself free.

I am thirsty and starving for FREEDOM baby!

That's my legacy! That's the impact I want to have in this world!

Being part of this world, I can no longer hide in the false modesty that “I am not important” or that “I don't matter”. This shit ain't about me only! What the fuck is all this talk about "not enoughness" or "too muchness" doing for me or for the world?

Being part of this world, it's my responsibility to set myself free from the cage of fear and step into BOLDNESS!

Being part of this world, it's my responsibility to step away from the selfishness of ego that wants to make this all about me and keep hiding myself in my little world, in a small town, in a tiny country called Portugal.

Being part of this world, it's my duty to share this I AMNESS with all of you! And those who resonate, will vibrate along with me.

In the meantime, I am RECOMMITTING to my own commitment:

1 - SPEAK UP about my feelings;

2 - HONOUR my emotions has a manifestation of my HUMAN EXPERIENCE;

3 - CREATE SPACE to whatever may be showing up in my life, either in my inner or outer world;

4 - NURTURE my childlike CURIOSITY;

5 - DARE to be 5% MORE AUTHENTIC every step of the way until it becomes who I am (and if it doesn't, be ok with that too);

6 - LOVE MYSELF, treat myself with KINDNESS and COMPASSION (no different from what I would do to a puppy or a baby).

We're in for an AWESOME COSMIC RIDE people!

Bless you all

<3

Like this article? Would anyone you know benefit from it? Click the share button!

LETTER TO ALL LIGHT WARRIORS

Dear Light Warrior,

Today I want to take a moment to tell you THANK YOU!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO F*CKING MUCH!

In this wild adventure of walking this path of Self Discovery, I can only feel deeply humbled and grateful for YOU, dear Light Warrior.

As you DARE to walk into the unknown, as you are BOLD to brave the wilderness, I am right behind you. I know the path is unique to each and every one of us, but as you WALK AHEAD, I f*cking thank you so much because you give me COURAGE and STRENGTH to continue.

Damn! You INSPIRE me so much!

What a path this is! It’s a way into the heart. It’s walking into the uncertainty. It’s freaking out with FEAR and then being BRAVE to go back and sit with it. It’s daring to think the unthinkable and having the courage to BE the embodiment of LOVE and FREEDOM.

My dear Light Warrior, please DON’T HOLD YOURSELF BACK!

I want you to know that every word you say… every poem you write… every video you make… every painting you bring to life… every book you birth… every photograph you take… every message you send… every email you answer back… every vulnerable moment you share…

Every bit of you…

They truly make a difference and you f*cking matter!

THANK YOU! I HONOUR you so much!

Stay BRAVE! Please don’t GIVE UP!

There’s always someone looking for the lighthouse… there’s always someone feeling lost and feeling like quitting… There’s always someone needing that beam of light… I am one of those and I am right behind you. I surely need you!

Thank you for continuing to let yourself shine. Thank you for letting your light shine so bright that it becomes unbearable for me to stay in the shadow.

Because of your light, a buried and numb desire awakened within me. Because of you, a deep longing, a burning fire, a yearning to discover the Truth of my own Self came to life. Your light pierces into the deepest depths of my being. Your light shakes my soul and my whole world is forever changed because of it.

Down on my knees and with tears streaming down my face, I pray for you walking ahead and I thank you for every time you fall and you get back up!

Overflowing with GRATITUDE, I Honour you and I Love you!

I’m right behind,

Teresa

Share this letter with the Light Warriors who inspire you!
Who are the Light Warriors that you would like to thank to?

No More Body Shame

It doesn’t matter how others see you. In the end what really matters is how you see yourself. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, intelligent or attractive others may find you. If you don’t see it or feel it yourself, in the end it is meaningless.

Once, in a retreat with my Buddhist Lama he asked “is the beauty in the flower or is the beauty in you?” I have been feeling into this for quite a while, and I have been seeing how the image and judgement I hold of myself actually conditions my experience of others and the world. That’s such a debilitating filter to have!

I have always struggled with body image and weight issues, and I’ve always judged myself really hard on that. No matter how many times my former partners would tell me I was beautiful, sexy, sensual… I have always struggled to take that in!

“How could they be so blind?”, I used to think. And many times, those compliments used to piss me off, because I was forced to sit with my own lack of self-love, and I silently hated them for that. It was right there, crystal clear on my face… them… holding the mirror for me.

Beach pictures?! OMG! Those were always a nightmare. And if I ever dared to have one or another taken, I couldn’t put my eyes on them afterwards.

Last weekend was no exception. But this time, a more pure and authentic love was holding the mirror, and I could do nothing else but SURRENDER… I mean, if I am actually REAL about this healing journey, which I am!

There we were, me and my 11-year-old kid, absolutely stunned by the beauty of the river, the blue sky, the warmth of winter sun, the boats, the seagulls, the sound of the distant stormy sea, kids laughing and playing… BLISS!

Usually I’m always the one behind the camera capturing these moments, and having a blast while doing it. Very occasionally I dare to ask to be photographed, and last Saturday I did it. I have no idea what I was expecting to see in those pictures but without any surprise to me, I didn’t like them.

I kept looking at those pictures, and I kept witnessing a cascade of judgmental thoughts rushing through my mind as I stared and stared… I kept staring and I began to crop them. Would I be able to find a way to be in those photos without “ruining” them? If I kept my upper body only, maybe that should do it. Shit! Maybe not!

And I found myself focusing on how much weight I have put on, how my belly stood out, how my comfy cotton yoga bra didn’t make my titties look sexy… and the list went on and on.

Why couldn’t the pictures be as beautiful as I wanted them to be? Why the fuck couldn’t I fit into the beauty that was all around me? How come I had so much beauty inside to be able to see the world as beautiful, but I couldn’t see myself the same way?

And then… his sweet wise voice stopped me in my tracks! As he peeks over my shoulder to see what I was doing, he says: “Why are you cropping them? You’re ruining the pictures!”

OMG!!! He is so right! What am I teaching him with this behaviour? Can’t I just fully accept myself as I am RIGHT NOW? I am 46… when will that happen?!

And so I stopped! The cropping wasn’t saving either the pictures or me. Where else in life have I been cropping parts of myself?

Let’s own this shit, Teresa! What do you want your kid to grow up learning? Do you want your kid to grow up not loving himself or his body? Oh yes… I have also judged his body too. Not verbally! Not out loud! But I have silently judged his little belly that tends to show up too.

This has been on my mind since last Saturday, and this morning, as I woke up and was getting ready for my yoga practice, I decided I would take some time to honour my body and hide no more. How fucking powerful is this body?! It was built to last. The scars are also proof of that!

My body has endured generating and giving life to two human beings, bringing them into the world through two painful and invasive caesareans. It has gone through the trauma of an epigastric hernia surgery… And what about all the unexpressed stuffed emotions it has had to deal with, for ages? And what about all the anger trapped inside? What about all the judgement, and making her look less than beautiful and perfect just the way she is? What about all the bad food choices and lack of exercise?

It’s because of this powerful body that I am allowed to FEEL DEEPLY!

As I stood there, honouring my body, pouring love into my cells, my skin, my bones and my flesh, I dared to SEE myself, as I asked for forgiveness.

And what I saw was BEAUTIFUL!

I could fool myself into believing that I was being fully authentic and honouring my body, by admitting the cropping of the pictures, and showing you an original one below (the only one that survived my frustration!). That surely would have been a big step too!

But you know what'? I’ve had enough of this bullshit of body shaming myself!

So, knowing how creatively skillful I have become at deceiving myself, after years of people pleasing, I want to DIVE right into the fear of being FULLY SEEN. Daring to dance with fear one more time, I want to step up my game, and be COURAGEOUS to do what scares me right now. I want to shine a bright light on my body. I want to shine a light on SHAME, that feeds off hiding and staying in the shadow.

My journey of honouring and loving my body starts today. And odds are that the true healing begins too.

If it was easy, SELF-LOVE wouldn’t be a REVOLUTIONARY act!

Here’s to the Self-Love Revolution!

#HonourEveryBitOfYourProcess #EveryLittleStepMatters #SelfLoveRevolution #NoMoreBodyShame

Like this article? Would anyone you know benefit from it? Share it!

Honour Every Step Of Your Process

Do you ever struggle with PERFECTIONISM? Do you hold yourself back because you think the right conditions are not in place? If so, keep reading.

Back in 2016 when I started coaching, I had a client from Bulgaria who wanted to learn how to make these pancakes that I make, and so I decided to give it a go and record a video with my first (and only so far - still using THAT one) brand new android phone.

So, there I was, getting a hand on this whole new technology stuff. I didn't know how to put the video together BUT I said I would do it. Knowing myself I knew I would find a way, and I did!

OMG! Today, watching that video... oh man, it looks so... BASIC (for lack of a better word) 😂🤣 Free advertising, I guess … ;)

Here are the TWO LESSONS I learned from getting out of my own way and leaving perfectionism aside:

1) Take ACTION! Don't hold yourself back!

Don’t get caught in the perfectionism bullsh*t. We all have to start somewhere, and many times (if not most of the times) BEGINNINGS don’t look neat or pretty or even polished. Nevertheless, it is THAT very first step that actually takes us where we want to go.

2) DARE to honour the beginnings!

Don’t be ashamed of your baby steps! Can you imagine making fun of yourself while you were learning how to walk or to speak? And the way to overcome this is to show up authentically. Yep, I want you to know that there's a part of me that's TOTALLY NOT HAPPY about me sharing this AT ALL! 😂🤣 (And that’s the reason I’m doing it anyway!)

So… honour EVERY MOMENT of your process! Celebrate the big AND small steps!!! Every Little Step Matters!

Take a moment and think about ONE thing that you have been putting off because you're falling for the trap of perfectionism? Got it? Now ask yourself: what's ONE little step that I can take to put me in the direction of making that thing happen?

You’ve got this!

Loving Soulful Code Of Conduct

I am a big fan of Iyanla Vanzant’s work which has stirred things up quite a bit for me. I have grown so much from reading her books and doing the work she invites us in.

At the moment I am working through her book “In The Meantime” and I have been doing deep inner work with it.

There’s a section in the book which she refers to as the “Loving Behaviour Reference” that I would like to share here with you. At a first glance it may seem just another list but if you take the time to sit with it, you may come to realise that this is QUITE a CHALLENGING list.

For me, I see it and I feel it as being more of a Loving Soulful Code Of Conduct.

Here it is, quoting her:


♥ Ask for exactly what you want.

♥ Tell the absolute truth about what you want.

♥ Clearly let others involved know your expectations of them.

♥ Ask for clarity about what is expected of you.

♥ Tell the absolute truth about your ability to live up to the expectations of others.

♥ Renegotiate any agreements you have made if you find that you’re unable to keep the agreement.

♥ Honor what you feel, first to yourself, then to others around you.

♥ Remain open to hearing what others want and expect without feeling you have to do anything about it.

♥ Never dishonor or deny yourself or what you feel simply to please someone else.

♥ Be willing to surrender (give up) what you want or expect when surrendering it serves a greater purpose, such as healing or generating more love.

♥ Be willing to forgive people for the things they do or fail to do in fear or anger.

♥ Be willing to forgive yourself for the things you do in fear or in anger.

♥ Bless every experience and ask that Divine will and understanding be granted to you and others.

Like this article? Would anyone you know benefit from it? Click the share button.

Speak The F*ck Up

What happens when we actually talk about what we don’t like about ourselves? What happens when we bring light into the darkest aspects of ourselves?

Well, I was dared to write down five traits I don't like about myself, and to record a video talking about it. I didn’t have to post or show the video to anyone. I could even delete it afterwards.

“Come up with 5 things I don't like about myself? That’s EASY!!!”, I thought to myself. Well, not quite! Not only did it turn out to be harder than I thought to come up with those five things, but I also found myself stuck in that process: “Are these really THE ONES I don't like about myself?"

No wonder! One of the things I don't like about myself is second guessing myself!!!! LOL

Thinking I would be on my own (at least so I thought! The ego has interesting ways to get in the way of our growth - if you watch the video below, you’ll understand what I am talking about), I decided to sit with that assignment and record the video, and see what would come up.

JUICY AF, I must say!

Second guessing myself as a result of decades of people pleasing, and mastering the art of fitting in (without even knowing it) was brought to the light in this raw video. I guess this is me evolving OUT LOUD!

I then decided that posting the video to the public would be a huge step forward in facing the FEAR of being fully authentic. Posting the video isn’t about people watching it. It’s about me facing the fear of showing up so raw, unedited and unfiltered.

It’s a paralysing fear, and I am committed into not being held hostage by it.

It’s crazy to notice that there’s a big fear of what my family will think or say about me, crying in a video out into the public. Chances are they’ll think I’m crazy. But you know what?!

I’m NOT CRAZY. I AM READY! I AM F*CKING READY!!!

After all the release (that can be witnessed in the video below), I sat down with the experience, and here’s the insight I got from all that time talking to/with/about myself — if I don’t pay close attention, and fully connect to the truth of who I am, the fact that I have been doing this work for a while can actually be an excuse for the ego to judge me.

“How can that be?”, you may be asking yourself. Here’s how I see it:

The ego will take turns in showing up as the solution to the problem it created in the 1st place, judging its previous manifestation, almost as if peeling off skin, and pretending to be another "entity", one after the other…

Also, if I am not mindful, the ego can easily keep me stuck under the illusion that tapping into feeling all these human emotions is nothing but a waste of time, because “now I know better”.But here’s the thing… Spiritual bypass doesn’t work.

There’s no shortcuts to healing! We have to feel it to heal it! We need to ALLOW the emotion, honour it, create a loving space for it to be expressed, fully see it and ACCEPT it for what it is.

So... here's my commitment for this 2019 (and for the rest of my life):

1 - SPEAK UP about my feelings;

2 - HONOUR my emotions as a manifestation of my human experience;

3 - Create SPACE for whatever may be showing up in my life, either in my inner or outer world;

4 - NURTURE my childlike curiosity;

5 - DARE to be 5% more authentic every step of the way, until it becomes who I am (and if it doesn't, be ok with that too);

6 - LOVE MYSELF, treating myself with kindness and compassion (no different from what I would do to a puppy or a baby).

So, here’s my dare to you! Grab a piece of paper and write down 5 traits you don’t like about yourself! Then, get your phone and record a video of you talking about it. If you want, you can pick one of the five, and only talk about that one. Of course you don’t have to share that video with anyone. You can even delete it afterwards.

Aren’t you curious to see what happens when you TALK about it? Aren’t you curious to find out what happens when you bring light into that shadow?

All I can say is that I found FREEDOM on the other side of that video.

Like this article? Would anyone you know benefit from it? Click the share button!

Surrender Into Trust

It was December 2016, and I had just come back from a mind-blowing, life-changing and earth shattering 6-day event called Date with Destiny, with Tony Robbins, in Florida.

I arrived in Florida with FREEDOM as my top value, and I came home having FAITH at the top of my list. This was very unfamiliar to me, and I had no idea how that would play out in my life, but I was willing to go for it. I knew that the things that came up for me in that event, came from a deeper place within myself… one that only then was I starting to navigate and explore.

Because a lot was happening in my life at the time, with many challenges and changes taking place, even if it was for just this one time, I was willing to pay the price to honour a deeper truth in me.

Being someone who feels deeply called to serve, in that event I made the decision to embrace a very specific role. I am talking about my role as God’s Puppet. That’s right… God’s Puppet! After all, this life is God’s show, right? And by God, I mean Source, Consciousness, Universe, Spirit… (feel free to choose a word that works for you).  

Let me just start by saying that, when I first deeply felt the calling into that role, the ego in me hated it. It totally hated it! I mean, it REALLY hated it, and went on a hysterical rant: “What do you mean god’s puppet?”; “Who the hell wants to be a puppet?”; “OMG, that’s such a loser role to have in life!”; “You’ll never be free, as you so much desire”…

Would I dare to trust my own intuition?
Yes, I would! And … Yes, I did!

I also have to say that, when I decided I would embrace that role, and that I was willing to “play along” with it, I knew nothing about what it meant. I honestly had no clue whatsoever. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I only knew it felt right! It felt so right, and so damn scary, at the same time.

At the time, I wasn’t aware that I would have to get out of my own way many times (if not most of the times). And by “I”, I mean the ego part of me that was so damn unpleased with my decision. But, again… what else was there to expect, considering the ego’s resistance, right?

The ego kept bugging me for quite a long time, wanting me to believe that the role of God’s Puppet was the opposite of what I really wanted. It kept telling me a bunch of stories, of how it was a weak place to be, and how it was a role for losers. Well, it may seem so, and I can see how me surrendering into that idea, actually meant the weakening of the ego.

Embodying the role of God’s Puppet isn’t a piece of cake. Not at all!!! I can now see how challenging it is. So, what is this role about? What does it mean to be God’s Puppet? After two years embracing this role, here’s what I can say…

Being God’s Puppet means showing up fully open to whatever this Higher Intelligence is trying to weave through me, surrendering to whatever Spirit is trying to make happen through me.

Being God’s Puppet means accepting, not resisting, relaxing, ALLOWING. It means being ok with not knowing, being present in the now, being willing to make mistakes. It means being ok with resisting, and fall off track at being God’s Puppet (if that’s even ever possible).

It means being compassionate with myself and others. It means daring to have childlike faith and curiosity again, allowing myself to be surprised. It means practising accepting, and being familiar with change.

Being God’s Puppet means that I am strengthening the belief that everything is already perfect. It means to be willing to let the stories and ideas about myself disappear.

It means I am willing to let the illusion of who I think I am die!

I become aware of the ego’s panic attacks, as I surrender more and more into being fully guided, and allow myself to be in awe at the perfection and wonders of this mysterious and abundant universe we live in.

Can you imagine what a show it would be if I decided I wanted to walk, and God had planning some dancing for me? That would be a very funny disastrous show to watch, don’t you think so?

And the issue is not so much about the disastrous show, that we could all laugh about. (After all, laughing is such a great medicine!) It’s more about how much effort I would really be putting at walking, having God moving me to dance. That would be like swimming up the stream, instead of allowing the stream to take me.

Well, I believe that’s what happens with us many times, when we resist whatever is that life is bringing our way. That’s what happens every time we insist on creating goals that really don’t serve us, or don’t align with our truth, and really limit us to walking, instead of dancing.

So, where are you resisting life?

Me at Date with Destiny (Florida, US) as I was moving towards this decision.