Trust

Divine Mother on the Key Ingredients To (Self) Trust

Back in 2019, during a very demanding time in my life (AKA dark night of the soul) this was one of the many conversations with Divine Mother. This conversation was about (Self) TRUST (which is such a challenge for a people pleaser in recovery like me) and the KEY INGREDIENTS to develop and nourish it. That day I started out with a prayer and then, as usual, she did all the talking and I listened.

Mother, you ask me to trust and I am so scared. I know you can feel my fear and I feel how much you love me through it.
Mother, may I have the courage to fully trust and have faith in this love that invites me daily to surrender.
Mother, may I be granted the wisdom and courage to come from love and not the ego.
Mother, may my heart keep opening up to you, to the Divine love that heals our human hearts.
Mother, may I have the strength to let myself go and let myself fall into your divine grace.

"My beloved child, I love that your heart feels so deeply, my dear. Allow yourself to feel everything! Don’t run away! Don’t hide from it, my child! The deeper you feel, the more doors you open, my dear.

That’s it! Take your time! Breathe, my dear. Breathe!

In the depths you find me, my beloved child. In the depths! Do not fear to dive in, my dear. Fear not! The depths are not dark. There’s pure divine light in the depths, where stillness and silence dance together.

The deeper you go, the brighter it gets, my dear.

Dive those waters, my child. Fear not to dive those waters! They may not look pretty in the beginning. It’s where all the conditioning is, where all the beliefs you were made to believe are, where the things you believe yourself to be are. But if you are brave enough to continue diving, in the depths you’ll find me, my beloved child. Where the waters are pristine, clear, crystal like the purest of the diamonds.

Let yourself fall in that river, my child. Flow with it and be brave to dive deep. In the depths you’ll find me, my child.

You are a vessel of love, my dear. You are a beautiful vessel of love, my child.

Can you trust even when you don't know? Can you? Trust gives you the peace and the ease that you so long for, my child.

Trust life! Trust yourself! You are not separate, my dear. When you trust yourself you will trust life, because one is not without the other. When you trust life, you create an openness to faith – a faith beyond yourself, a faith that will guide you all the way to what you truly are, my dear.

FAITH will give you the power you need to keep diving into the Truth. Faith is the shield that protects you from the ego! Nourish that faith, my dear child. Only the brave ones will dare to hold that shield, my beloved daughter.

Faith is the shield and COURAGE is the sword! Hold them both wisely and strongly, my dear.

A sharp sword, Courage, opens the door, clears the path for you to walk through to the Ultimate Truth, the Ultimate Liberation. A strong and robust shield, Faith, protects you from the hurtful and deadly arrows the ego throws at you. These arrows are all the things you know so well – doubt, judgement, guilt, shame, unworthiness...

So, my child, take care of your shield and remember to sharpen your sword frequently.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to be truthful, to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to trust yourself enough to be willing to show up and face the fears you will meet along the way.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to open yourself up and let yourself be seen, be fully seen in your authenticity, in your most authentic unfiltered expression in the world.

You sharpen your sword every time you're willing to trust the voice in your heart and not the one in your head.

As for Faith, as for the shield, that requires a sharp sword, my child! Only those who are willing to go beyond themselves will be graced with that shield, my child. Gratitude… prayer… meditation… these are some of the things that make that shield strong enough to continue the inward journey.

Blessed you be, my child, for being brave enough to be holding this shield. Blessed you be!

Once you let yourself fall into the depths of your being, holding that shield and that sword, the more you take care of your shield, the more you dare with your sword and the deeper you go.

The more you dare to open your heart, the more you'll find yourself protected not by a shield but by a blanket of love. And that, my child, is the ultimate faith – trust that a blanket (LOVE) will keep you as safe as a shield.

Be watchful to not let yourself fall into the trap of making yourself insignificant when taking care of your Faith.

First, you need to go beyond yourself and cultivate that faith in order to be able to pass through the traps of the ego. But please, do not let yourself lose your Self in this process, because the power is ultimately within you, my dear.

Remember, you and I, we are not separate, my child!

- Divine Mother | June 16th 2019 (channeled by ©Teresa Pimenta)

Art by Josephine Wall

Art by Josephine Wall

Can people pleasers really TRUST themselves?

Can people pleasers really TRUST themselves?
What is the price to pay for not stepping up in your truth?

Finding out who I am after over 40 years of a life of people pleasing, of avoiding conflict at any cost, it has been nothing short but a damn hard adventure and also a surprisingly worthy challenge.

Was this conscious? Was I aware that I was pleasing others? Was I aware that I was avoiding confrontation to the expense of annihilating myself? Hell no!

Today, many pains and many tears later, I know that in each of those moments that I stayed low, played small, hid myself, said yes when I wanted to say no, smiled when I wanted to cry, agreed and pleased when I wanted to say “fuck you”… Today I know that in all those moments I was betraying myself, losing complete respect for myself as I believed the tyrant I had become to myself — the tyrant that made me believe that who I was as a person was WRONG, that I was unlovable and that I was a worthless piece of shit!

How could I trust myself? How could I trust others? How could I trust life if I couldn’t even trust myself enough to honour my own truth?

With all the pain and hurt, I started playing defensive and shutting myself more and more, not only to others but also to myself. As time went by, I was further and further away from myself, from my truth, from who I truly was. Buried deeper and deeper away from the light of my true self, I began to fade away. I had forgotten about myself! Life has forgotten about me! So it seemed… And the more I lost touch with myself, the higher the walls I began to build around me.

I was definitely locked inside the dungeons of an old castle, protected by a fortress armed with guards, ready to fight the slightest threat! I had built that fortress and buried myself in it. I became a lunatic guard to the castle, always ready to fight any perceived or hallucinated threat, which at that point in my life was basically anything that was out of my control. I was a wounded animal! My flesh was in the open air and the slightest breeze of air would cause a huge amount of pain and hurt like hell! A simple question such as "why don't you...?" sounded like a battle cry. That was not a question to me. It was a threat! I would not hear those words but instead I would hear "what you're doing is wrong!", "who you are is wrong!"

All that triggered me to battle! I fought hard! I kicked and scream and sure as hell I’ve hurt many people in the way. I was fucking angry! Rage was burning inside and was the king of the castle!

No matter how hard I tried to make others happy, that mission was failing over and over again. Not only did I not know who I was, but the one I believed to be, the pleaser, was doing a miserable job. What a worthless piece of shit I was! The significant others were not happy around me or pleased at all and I was a total wreck, a human failure.

And it was only when I hurt the ones that I love the most, that it would hit me straight into the heart. You know, I didn’t care about myself! I was not important! I didn’t matter! My feelings didn’t matter. After all, I was such a bad person, so unlovable and such a worthless piece of shit. But hurting them? That caused a huge amount of pain and it would make me even more furious.

To those I’ve hurt, I’ve already asked for forgiveness. As for me, I’ve not only asked for forgiveness, but I actually forgave myself for it. How else could I love myself if I wasn’t capable of forgiving myself for the hurt and pain I inflicted upon me?! If I ever wanted to feel true love in my heart, that was the only way.

Having brought those walls down, having allowed myself to be seen raw and naked in my vulnerability and my humanity, I am now on a daily journey of reclaiming my voice, daring to speak my truth and show up authentic in the world. And just like a drug addict, it’s a day by day process. Celebrating every moment of authenticity and vulnerability, mothering and nurturing myself when I don’t do it, rejoicing in the bliss and humility of being boldly present through all of it.

What brought me here? The Love others generously and kindly projected onto me brought me here. The love of the brave ones who dare to love fiercely through the hardships, brought me here.

Today I can write about it, I can see it clearly and today I am able to love myself through all of this… for who I have been, for who I am and for who I am becoming.

Today, I’m on a daily journey of choosing love and compassion, feeling deeply grateful for the greatest gift life has finally gifted me with — the LOVE that I feel in my heart, AT LAST!
And knowing in my bones that there’s no mistakes or regrets in Love, knowing with my whole being that Love is always worth it, I am now finally living from Love as Love!

Little me

Little me

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How I Reclaimed My Power Back

Let's talk about A N G E R  !

Before we jump right in, have you noticed how similar this word is to dANGER?!

Just like with F.e.a.r, I used to have a very intimate relationship with  A N G E R.

Oh my... oh my... That sh*t was serious! 💥 💣

You know, People Pleasers are very ANGRY and so are tons of WOMEN!
Women are angry and have never been allowed to express their anger. So we've learned to judge it & then judge OURSELVES for feeling it!

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Now, here's the thing! That sh*t will have to come out at one point or another and that's when it gets really, I mean REALLY ugly! So then we JUDGE ourselves even HARDER!

How did I transform all that anger?

Well, for me Tog Chod was the key! Tog Chod is the practice you can see in the video, created by my Tibetan Buddhist Lama Tulku Lobsang.

This practise was like water to the driest and thirstiest plant — I was dying to get my hands on that sword ⚔️ and f*cking express all the anger I felt inside!

And I did! I F*CKING DID IT!💪

I killed so many monsters during tons of hours of practise. Forget about RECLAIMING my voice! At the time I wanted to f*cking ROAR! 🔥

ROAR b*tch, ROAR! 🦁🦁🦁

Whether or not you have access to this practise or any other, the point is that you need to Honour and allow yourself to Express your anger in a safe way. If you've been stuffing it down, shutting your voice, not speaking your truth and you know you're f*cking angry, I do know I can help you RIGHT NOW!

If this resonates somewhere within your being then you and I should have a conversation.

And, in case nobody told you today… or recently… or ever...

You sure are entitled to be ANGRY!

Sending Love,

Teresa

#AngerIsToBeHonoured #ExpressYourself #SelfAcceptance#ReclaimYourPower
 #AuthenticityIsTheNewBlack 

The Day I Met And Channeled Kali For The First Time

Do you know who Kali is?
Well, I have to tell you that I didn’t know anything about her until this very experience that I’m about to share with you. Not her name, not her story, not her picture, nothing!! Nothing at all!

What a mind-blowing experience this was while surrendering myself into an act of creation!

It was a cold afternoon and I felt like drawing or painting… not quite sure what to do but my hands surely felt like creating something. As I sat by the table with my brand-new fancy markers and a white sheet of paper, I start to wonder what I feel like drawing. Bad idea! When connecting to your intuition, you don’t wonder. You feel and you connect!

I checked my favourite pictures looking for inspiration, all the hearts and mandalas on my Pinterest albums. I was still in my head trying to figure out what I wanted to draw and to create. Don’t get me wrong, please. I am no drawing artist myself but when my hands want to create, I allow them to, even if it’s to draw a heart or a tree.

My hands wanted to move but my head and my thoughts were still in the way of the creation. I draw the shape of a heart and it really looks pretty (hearts are always pretty to me) and yet it feels so wrong. I get another sheet of paper and draw another round shape, which looks like I’m about to create a face but… NOPE, it’s not that either.

What a fool I didn’t know I was being! I had no clue that I was about to be drawn and not to draw. I was about to find out that something wanted to be born through me as I stepped into a place of being totally willing and open to trust the process. My mind wasn’t in control anymore!

I close my eyes, take some deep breaths, connect to my body, get myself another white sheet of paper, hit play on one of my playlists and then… all of a sudden, out of the blue, it begins to unfold.

I draw half of the upper body of a woman and what seemed like a big dress and from then on, I would fully surrender and immerse myself into a deep experience of feeling the shame of being a woman, the guilt and judgement of desiring sex, the fraud of not standing in my own power and my own truth.

My hands move alone, the images come to me and I don’t even know where they’re coming from. It’s as if something is wanting to speak to me and I decide to trust the process and go along with it. I really don’t have to understand it! My mind really wants to, but I don’t!

There’s a sweetness and a loving side to this energy coming to life in that paper, a side of her that seems to be betrayed and misunderstood, which made her rise up as this furious, enraged, powerful and fierce destroyer.

Throughout the whole process, there were some moments that really screamed out to me because they were very intense and I could feel them in my body, in the fast rhythm of my breath, in the tears rolling down my face, and in the rage and fear I was feeling inside.

The moment my pencil marks a spot in the yoni area, I am in shock and I can’t believe my eyes as I witness my hand doing it! In that moment, I could feel an intensifying strength in my arm that kept marking it really hard as she was saying to me:


“Yes! YES! There! It’s there! Own it! That’s really it! Don’t question! Don’t doubt! Don’t run away! That’s right there!”.

My hand keeps the pencil hitting that spot in the paper. I hit the pencil so hard and the energy is so intense that it almost seems I’ll be tearing off the paper. And in that moment, she starts to bleed — a river of blood, a volcanic explosion of blood that would go right to the centre of the earth bathing innumerable skulls which I refused to draw. That drawing was surely becoming too weird for me and since I’m not a drawing artist, I chose to skip drawing pilled bones and skulls.

Well, I could refuse to draw for sure but it surely wasn’t stopping there. Whatever was happening and whoever was creating that drawing, was hell yeah determined to make her point, to be seen and to be heard.

And from there, all of a sudden, I feel this sensation of being invaded by a wooden stick that would penetrate me through my vagina all the way up to my heart and throat, feeling like I was being crossed over from one side to the other. As this happened, I saw glimpses of men penetrating women as they raped them. From there, this huge rage began to build up inside of me and what was once painful and invasive, became a life force running through her, through me, from her yoni all the way up to her heart and throat.

And she spoke! OMG, she was speaking! I could hear her speaking to the men:
”How dare you doing this to me? I give you life! I feed you! I nurture you!”
“I will kill you all!”
“You will ALL die!”

And a deep roar of suffering reached out into the skies as I listened to her howling “NOooooooo!”

She was not only speaking to men but she was also speaking to me. You know, she wanted me to draw her with her legs fully and wide spread. Very timidly, I draw them spread, but she insisted that they were meant to be FULLY wide open.

And she spoke:
“Open them! Don’t be afraid! Don’t be ashamed! Hide no more! Own the fullness of you! Stand tall! Stand strong!”.

She wasn’t happy yet and so she kept going:
“Open up! Open up! Wider! Wider! Let them see ALL of you! Fear no more! Fear no more! Own yourself! Hide nothing! Fear nothing! Fully, fully open! Don’t you hear me?”.

I could hear her for sure! There’s no question about it! I was shaking all over and I drew her legs wider but it wasn’t enough yet. She wasn’t going to stop for sure. She had a message she wanted to make come across and she was going to do it no matter what. Was I up to the challenge? I was crying my eyes out, my hands were sweating and my whole body was shaking. There was no turning back and, in that moment, I decide that I might as well surrender fully to the process.

She went on:
“Don’t you hear me? I said OPEN UP! FULLY OPEN UP! I mean FULLY… FULLY, FULLY OPEN UP! Open until you feel you are breaking and tearing yourself apart! I am going to turn your world upside down!”

I have to pause. I cry and I shake to the bones! Every cell in my body is shaking.

And I am sitting there wondering “Who the hell is this image which not only happens to be blue (go figure) but she also looks like she has lots of arms?”. I was part of the Rewilding Group founded by Sabrina Lynn so I asked if they knew what that could be about, and they were all unanimous — KALI!

Well, it looks like I had an encounter with Kali! Still to this day I haven’t done any research on Kali, except for googling her image when the women told me it was her, to find my jaw dropping to the floor when I saw the similarity of what I saw in my experience and what google was showing me.

Research? What for? More food to the mind? Nope!
I felt her! I heard her! I sensed her! I saw her! I experienced her! She is me! I am her!
That’s good enough for me!

TODAY, one year later, I can tell you this — she did turn my world upside down!

Hit the Play Button to listen to me sharing the channelling with the women from Rewilding.


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Healing The People Pleaser

What's the scariest thing for me as a people pleaser in recovery, who was always told to shut the fuck up?

SPEAK THE F*CK UP!

SHOW THE F*CK UP!

DARE to be fully seen in my VULNERABILITY and show up AUTHENTIC!

Having dared to step outside my comfort zone and show up doing a Facebook Live in the Tribe I created, was at the time a HUGE STEP! Still, I can see how I keep hiding behind the safety of a special place and being selective about who sees what.

I realise how many "gates" I can actually create for the world to see me. (That's how sneaky this can get!) There comes a time when I realise that I am half-daring and half-showing up. And there’s actually nothing wrong with that. It’s just that TODAY I feel like it’s time, and just for today, I want there to be no gates whatsoever.

Again, this is a huge step forward in facing the FEAR of being fully AUTHENTIC. You know, the fear will always be there and that’s one of the reasons practising daring and showing up is so crucial to me. I have tasted far too deep how crippling this fear is and can be if I let it control my life. There’s always a big fear of what my family will think or say about me, crying in a video out into the public. Chances are they’ll think I’m crazy! But you know what?!

I’m NOT CRAZY!!! I AM READY!!!! I AM FUCKING READY!!!

Do I really need to be seen? To be honest, I have no damn clue! But for me, this is where fear has been showing up big time and I know this is my free pass for the highway to freedom.

So, today I am sharing with all of you a behind the scenes (RAW & MESSY) of what happened inside that tribe of women a while back, where I held space for all the judgement, anger, frustration towards the people pleaser in me and it was only after this episode that I was able to finally ACCEPT and ACKNOWLEDGE that part of me.

Right now, the fearful side of me is in my head, doing everything it can, to have me post something else rather than this. To be totally honest, it´s been over 2 hours since I started this article.

It seems that there's this wave of authenticity and vulnerability showing up in the world and I can see how it can be easy to start rolling our eyes at that. And that's exactly the monologue the ego is having in my head right now: "Are you really going to write about that authenticity stuff, AGAIN? People are fed up with that!"

Oh yes baby, I am! Watch me! I won't be held prisoner today! It may happen tomorrow, but NOT today!

Doing this video allowed me to tap into unknown parts of myself and to learn that I can actually hold space for the WHOLENESS of me.

I don’t know a lot of stuff, but I KNOW THIS:

- I know for sure that HIDING in FEAR is no longer serving me and only stepping into this authentic & unfiltered experience of myself will I end up knowing myself deeply and truly.

- I know in my bones that authenticity will set me FREE and the more I dare into it, the more I TRUST myself!

- And I know in my bones that the more I TRUST myself, the more POWERFUL I'll be to have the GUTS to be willing to FIERCELY go beyond personal identity.

I don't want personal power to be rich! I don't want personal power to be famous! I don't want personal power to impact millions! I want personal power to set myself free.

I am thirsty and starving for FREEDOM baby!

That's my legacy! That's the impact I want to have in this world!

Being part of this world, I can no longer hide in the false modesty that “I am not important” or that “I don't matter”. This shit ain't about me only! What the fuck is all this talk about "not enoughness" or "too muchness" doing for me or for the world?

Being part of this world, it's my responsibility to set myself free from the cage of fear and step into BOLDNESS!

Being part of this world, it's my responsibility to step away from the selfishness of ego that wants to make this all about me and keep hiding myself in my little world, in a small town, in a tiny country called Portugal.

Being part of this world, it's my duty to share this I AMNESS with all of you! And those who resonate, will vibrate along with me.


In the meantime, I am RECOMMITTING to my own commitment:

1 - SPEAK UP about my feelings;

2 - HONOUR my emotions has a manifestation of my HUMAN EXPERIENCE;

3 - CREATE SPACE to whatever may be showing up in my life, either in my inner or outer world;

4 - NURTURE my childlike CURIOSITY;

5 - DARE to be 5% MORE AUTHENTIC every step of the way until it becomes who I am (and if it doesn't, be ok with that too);

6 - LOVE MYSELF, treat myself with KINDNESS and COMPASSION (no different from what I would do to a puppy or a baby).

We're in for an AWESOME COSMIC RIDE people!

Bless you all

<3


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Speak The F*ck Up

What happens when we actually talk about what we don’t like about ourselves? What happens when we bring light into the darkest aspects of ourselves?

Well, I was dared to write down five traits I don't like about myself, and to record a video talking about it. I didn’t have to post or show the video to anyone. I could even delete it afterwards.

“Come up with 5 things I don't like about myself? That’s EASY!!!”, I thought to myself. Well, not quite! Not only did it turn out to be harder than I thought to come up with those five things, but I also found myself stuck in that process: “Are these really THE ONES I don't like about myself?"

No wonder! One of the things I don't like about myself is second guessing myself!!!! LOL

Thinking I would be on my own (at least so I thought! The ego has interesting ways to get in the way of our growth - if you watch the video below, you’ll understand what I am talking about), I decided to sit with that assignment and record the video, and see what would come up.

JUICY AF, I must say!

Second guessing myself as a result of decades of people pleasing, and mastering the art of fitting in (without even knowing it) was brought to the light in this raw video. I guess this is me evolving OUT LOUD!

I then decided that posting the video to the public would be a huge step forward in facing the FEAR of being fully authentic. Posting the video isn’t about people watching it. It’s about me facing the fear of showing up so raw, unedited and unfiltered.

It’s a paralysing fear, and I am committed into not being held hostage by it.

It’s crazy to notice that there’s a big fear of what my family will think or say about me, crying in a video out into the public. Chances are they’ll think I’m crazy. But you know what?!

I’m NOT CRAZY. I AM READY! I AM F*CKING READY!!!

After all the release (that can be witnessed in the video below), I sat down with the experience, and here’s the insight I got from all that time talking to/with/about myself — if I don’t pay close attention, and fully connect to the truth of who I am, the fact that I have been doing this work for a while can actually be an excuse for the ego to judge me.

“How can that be?”, you may be asking yourself. Here’s how I see it:

The ego will take turns in showing up as the solution to the problem it created in the 1st place, judging its previous manifestation, almost as if peeling off skin, and pretending to be another "entity", one after the other…

Also, if I am not mindful, the ego can easily keep me stuck under the illusion that tapping into feeling all these human emotions is nothing but a waste of time, because “now I know better”.But here’s the thing… Spiritual bypass doesn’t work.

There’s no shortcuts to healing! We have to feel it to heal it! We need to ALLOW the emotion, honour it, create a loving space for it to be expressed, fully see it and ACCEPT it for what it is.

So... here's my commitment for this 2019 (and for the rest of my life):

1 - SPEAK UP about my feelings;

2 - HONOUR my emotions as a manifestation of my human experience;

3 - Create SPACE for whatever may be showing up in my life, either in my inner or outer world;

4 - NURTURE my childlike curiosity;

5 - DARE to be 5% more authentic every step of the way, until it becomes who I am (and if it doesn't, be ok with that too);

6 - LOVE MYSELF, treating myself with kindness and compassion (no different from what I would do to a puppy or a baby).

So, here’s my dare to you! Grab a piece of paper and write down 5 traits you don’t like about yourself! Then, get your phone and record a video of you talking about it. If you want, you can pick one of the five, and only talk about that one. Of course you don’t have to share that video with anyone. You can even delete it afterwards.

Aren’t you curious to see what happens when you TALK about it? Aren’t you curious to find out what happens when you bring light into that shadow?

All I can say is that I found FREEDOM on the other side of that video.

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Surrender Into Trust

It was December 2016, and I had just come back from a mind-blowing, life-changing and earth shattering 6-day event called Date with Destiny, with Tony Robbins, in Florida.

I arrived in Florida with FREEDOM as my top value, and I came home having FAITH at the top of my list. This was very unfamiliar to me, and I had no idea how that would play out in my life, but I was willing to go for it. I knew that the things that came up for me in that event, came from a deeper place within myself… one that only then was I starting to navigate and explore.

Because a lot was happening in my life at the time, with many challenges and changes taking place, even if it was for just this one time, I was willing to pay the price to honour a deeper truth in me.

Being someone who feels deeply called to serve, in that event I made the decision to embrace a very specific role. I am talking about my role as God’s Puppet. That’s right… God’s Puppet! After all, this life is God’s show, right? And by God, I mean Source, Consciousness, Universe, Spirit… (feel free to choose a word that works for you).  


Let me just start by saying that, when I first deeply felt the calling into that role, the ego in me hated it. It totally hated it! I mean, it REALLY hated it, and went on a hysterical rant: “What do you mean god’s puppet?”; “Who the hell wants to be a puppet?”; “OMG, that’s such a loser role to have in life!”; “You’ll never be free, as you so much desire”…

Would I dare to trust my own intuition?
Yes, I would! And … Yes, I did!

I also have to say that, when I decided I would embrace that role, and that I was willing to “play along” with it, I knew nothing about what it meant. I honestly had no clue whatsoever. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I only knew it felt right! It felt so right, and so damn scary, at the same time.

 

At the time, I wasn’t aware that I would have to get out of my own way many times (if not most of the times). And by “I”, I mean the ego part of me that was so damn unpleased with my decision. But, again… what else was there to expect, considering the ego’s resistance, right?

 

The ego kept bugging me for quite a long time, wanting me to believe that the role of God’s Puppet was the opposite of what I really wanted. It kept telling me a bunch of stories, of how it was a weak place to be, and how it was a role for losers. Well, it may seem so, and I can see how me surrendering into that idea, actually meant the weakening of the ego.

Embodying the role of God’s Puppet isn’t a piece of cake. Not at all!!! I can now see how challenging it is. So, what is this role about? What does it mean to be God’s Puppet? After two years embracing this role, here’s what I can say…

Being God’s Puppet means showing up fully open to whatever this Higher Intelligence is trying to weave through me, surrendering to whatever Spirit is trying to make happen through me.

Being God’s Puppet means accepting, not resisting, relaxing, ALLOWING. It means being ok with not knowing, being present in the now, being willing to make mistakes. It means being ok with resisting, and fall off track at being God’s Puppet (if that’s even ever possible).

It means being compassionate with myself and others. It means daring to have childlike faith and curiosity again, allowing myself to be surprised. It means practising accepting, and being familiar with change.

Being God’s Puppet means that I am strengthening the belief that everything is already perfect. It means to be willing to let the stories and ideas about myself disappear.

It means I am willing to let the illusion of who I think I am die!

I become aware of the ego’s panic attacks, as I surrender more and more into being fully guided, and allow myself to be in awe at the perfection and wonders of this mysterious and abundant universe we live in.


Can you imagine what a show it would be if I decided I wanted to walk, and God had planning some dancing for me? That would be a very funny disastrous show to watch, don’t you think so?

And the issue is not so much about the disastrous show, that we could all laugh about. (After all, laughing is such a great medicine!) It’s more about how much effort I would really be putting at walking, having God moving me to dance. That would be like swimming up the stream, instead of allowing the stream to take me.



Well, I believe that’s what happens with us many times, when we resist whatever is that life is bringing our way. That’s what happens every time we insist on creating goals that really don’t serve us, or don’t align with our truth, and really limit us to walking, instead of dancing.



So, where are you resisting life?

Me at Date with Destiny (Florida, US) as I was moving towards this decision.

Me at Date with Destiny (Florida, US) as I was moving towards this decision.

Hustling vs Staying in Flow



As I stood there sitting on the floor, waiting for a performance which was about to start, I found myself absorbing how imponent and magnificent that castle was, and imagined the events that must have taken place there, in the Medieval Age, with kings, queens and knights.

And then… I found myself wondering how many times in life we feel like we are in a battle. How often do we feel there's a castle to take over, to conquer, and overcome challenges so we can get to the very top of the tower?

 

The true battle is really happening inside, and it is a one-man-fight – ONESELF! (Or, better said, what we think to be ourselves)

The ego (on a side note, let me just say that initially the word ego was all caps and when I noticed how much it was standing out, I thought I would bring it down to its place… wrote it with capital “e” and as I was about to take it down too, the ego was freaking out… LOL the struggle is real, people!!!), which creates an illusory separation, always gives us the idea that we have to get somewhere, to do some other thing, making us feel incomplete, and with the illusion that something is missing…and that’s how we fall into the next-thing trap. At least I know I do!

 

The ego, in its quest to survive, will make you believe that there’s always more and more and more… it will never ever be enough… YOU will never be enough!

I don’t know about you, but I am finding that sh*t really exhausting, and more and more I am daring to experiment with some different approaches.

 

As I adventure into these new possibilities, I am aware of the battle happening within, as if I were two people. It’s quite a show to watch!!!!

Sounding just like Sofia Vergara playing Gloria in Modern Family, the ego loves a drama: “what??!! you’re not worried?”; “how come you’re not anxious?”; “what do you mean you’ll buy that ticket to Tony Robbins?”; “You can’t spend all that money?” … blah blah blah

It’s a one-man-show! A sitcom with a signed contract for life and unlimited seasons. (The Simpsons, you’re screwed!)

 

You should see the shock and the surprise every time I challenge, not only the ego but also myself, to later find out that my body is less and less responding like it used to when standing before the “illusion” of a problem.

My mind tells me to worry and freak out, but deep down I don’t feel as such! There’s hope! 😉

 

Back to the castle, the battles and the conquering. It’s crazy how we can get attached to the drama and the hardship. Don’t you think so? Don't get me wrong! There's nothing wrong with wanting more, in conquering castles, climbing the highest mountains… I am a hell yeah for that! But life can be as interesting, if not more challenging, down here too.

If there's great courage in taking the leap, in going to battle, it also takes as much courage daring to stay, sit, acknowledge whatever is… do nothing and change nothing.

 

Actually, I have tried them both, and here’s what I can share with you: hustling, getting myself ready to work, to go somewhere, to do something challenging, is revealing itself way easier than honouring the presence of now, sitting still, creating space for the clarity needed to take action, surrendering into the stillness of the unknown.

Can you be ok with not knowing and honour it?

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